𝑆𝐴𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐷𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑂 𝑀𝐴𝐿𝐹𝑂𝑌

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒𝟓 - 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭

╭────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────╮

*trigger warning: self-harm, ED*

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

𝐎

February 15th, 1997

Dear Margot,

I spent all fortnight studying for a Transfiguration midterm that drained most of my energy and prevented me from writing to you. McGonagall made quite a big deal out of this examination. She says it was somewhat of a simulation to help prepare us for our NEWTs. Thankfully, Hermione helped me catch up because otherwise, I would be hopeless. I think it went mediocrely.

Judging from what happened today, I shouldn't be wasting my time describing the few comparatively unimportant events of the rest of the week. But first, I feel obligated to tell you what happened with Harry on Wednesday night, right before dinner, because I feel like it might be a significant memory in the future. I hope it's not.

And then, of course, I have to tell you what happened on Thursday and everything that followed until today. But let me start with the less painful report...

"You're eating dinner with us, right?" said Harry when he saw me return from the Owlery. The truth was, I didn't want to send any letters. I was just buying time until the clock showed a more reasonable hour for sleep.

"If 'us' includes Hermione and Ron, count me in. They provide free entertainment." My pastime didn't consist of Maya-Blaise drama anymore, but the replacement was more than sufficient.

"You know, I'm glad to see you so... revived."

"Revived?" It was a generous term and one I didn't expect. It must have been some superficial caffeinated effect.

"I thought we lost you for a second," added Harry. Added, not answered. I didn't know if Harry meant the period after Christmas or the entire year so far. It was always hard to tell with him. Although curious by his nature, he almost always talked in riddles.

"All this shelter business during Christmas had me knackered, honestly." Easy answers are everything I have nowadays.

"It has been almost two months since then..." A long pause.

I could have defended myself in this if I wanted to. I could have said, 'you would understand how hard it is if your mother's life was at stake'. Of course, even the thought was unfair and indecent given Harry's past, but it would be enough to distract him, throw him off. I felt terrible for even considering the possibility of saying that.

"You know what's weird?" he said soon, thankfully pulling me out of my rude loophole and putting me right in another one with what was to follow. "I was taking a look at the Marauders map the other day and I swear I saw Malfoy and you in the Slytherin Common room."

My ears started ringing with dizziness. It was an unexpected blow.

There was only one encounter the Marauder's map could have depicted – and why did anything have to remind me of it? I didn't mean to say I love you, he said. I mediocrely believed him or at least believed that he was taking it back for a good reason.

"Well... We are both Slytherins, so that would make sense." I hate such predictable answers.

"No, I saw you alone in there. It looked like you were facing each other and then you left running."