Into The Reality (PUBLISHED UNDER LINES OF LOVE)

Chapter 3.4

"What if mag-break tayo?" Martin uttered. We were seating at our school's bench.

"Then that just means that we're not meant for each other." Simple kong sagot habang nag-babasa ng libro dahil may test kami mamaya. Totoo naman, people won't stay at all costs, because even if they do, we will all eventually die.

"Gano'n na lang 'yun?" Napa-tingin ako sa kan'ya. "I don't want us to break up." Natawa ako sa labi at mga mata niya na halata ang dismaya. He really loses his cool kapag gusto niya ng lambing. We've already been together for a few months, and I can say that I'm slowly memorizing the reason behind his words and actions.

"Fine. We won't break up." Napa-ngiti siya sa sinabi ko.

"Alright then... kapag nag-break tayo, tatapunan kita ng asin na parang multo." Pag-babanta niya. My eyebrows crossed.

"I think you've gone crazy."

"Hindi pa naman, hindi pa ako gaanong baliw sa'yo... pero malapit na." I was just joking, but the atmosphere changed because of his answer.

Mahal ko talaga siya. Kahit gan'yan 'yan.

"Magkaaway kayo ni Martin? Bakit hindi niyo ayusin? Don't tell me makikipag-break ka ulit sa kan'ya." Bea talked me out. Martin and I eventually went out just like how everyone expected us to.

"Bahala siya," nag-mamatigas kong sagot.

In a relationship, it's already a fact that you'll get into fights and arguments. But what's not normal is that when Martin and I would fight, the thought of breaking up with him would always come into my mind.

Whenever we fight and it's my fault, I'd think that I'm not good enough for him. And when it's his fault, I'd think that I could live without him. That's how immature I was. And every single time I break up with Martin, he'd still say sorry and he's always the one who'd lower down his pride and ask me if I'm sure of my decision. In the end, I would go back to him.

It seemed like I was always finding a reason to break up with him, even if I loved him so much.

"Hindi ka ba nag-sasawa?"

"Kanino? Sa'yo?" Tumango na lang ako. "Walang nakaka-sawa, Kat. Kaya bakit ako mag-sasawa?" Martin said in a soothing voice.

Maybe it was because I was scared... and I am not yet ready. I was still in the nightmare of my father leaving the family, kahit pa taon na ang lumipas simula nang mangyari iyon and I even graduated from high school aready, yet it's still fresh.

My dad did not leave voluntarily, but he could've at least begged to stay. He could have at least tried to stay even if mom was pushing him away. Maybe he left because his love for us was shallow.

That's what I was scared of. That maybe... Martin's love for me was the same.

He was too good to be true. And I believed that maybe if it is too good to be true, maybe it is.

"Thank you for being patient with my son, hija." Martin's mom held my hand while I was at the kitchen of their house. Si Martin ay nasa kwarto niya dahil nag-rereview kami para sa entrance exam sa bahay nila. Bumaba lang ako dahil tinawag ako ng mama niya upang bumaba.

"Walang anuman po. Wala naman po akong kailangang tiisin para kay Martin. Hindi naman po siya nakaka-sawa at nakaka-pagod na kasama." I gave a sincere smile.

"Even so. That kid can be spoiled at times." She chuckled. "Thank you for loving my son. Thank you for helping him with his studies. He never listens to us, but he always listens to you. I know that he will never hurt you. Ako na mismo ang mag-tatangging anak ko siya kung sinaktan ka niya." Pareho kaming natawa. Martin's parents really supported our relationship which I was thankful of.

Bumalik ako sa kwarto ni Martin na may dalang food tray na dala ng mama niya. Pagka-lapag ko ng tray sa small table sa kwarto niya kung nasaan ang mga libro niya, tumabi ako kay Martin.

Napatingin ako kay Martin na hawak-hawak ang kamay ko ngayon. Binigay sa kan'ya ng maid nila ang malaking teddy bear at mukhang para sa akin 'yun. Hinalikan niya ako sa pisnge, at mukhang siya ang may pasimuno nito dahil sa ngiti niya. "Happy anniversary to us. I love you."

"I love me too," biro ko.

Napa-iling na lang siya. "Papakasalan talaga kita."

He was the best gift in my life. The best gift that I expected to be with me until the end because he promised to give me his forever.