~Jokes book~

Zombies?!

*mum and dad makin' out*

*baby girl walks in*

Baby girl: Mommy!!! *runs to dad and hits him with her teddy* Bad daddy! Bad daddy! Bad dadd-

Mom: Baby girl! Don't do that!!

Dad: Y-yeah baby, it's bad!

Baby girl: But mommy! He was eating you! Daddy is a zombie! Zombie! Zombie!

Dad: A what??

Mom: No no no baby girl! There's no such thing as zombies, okay? No such thing.

Baby girl: But I saw daddy eating you like *nom nom nom* He even brought out his tounge! *mmnom mmmnom mmnom* He's a zombie!!

Mom: There's no such thing as zombies baby girl! What daddy did was... Kissing me! Not eating me! Okay?

Dad: Yes baby! You won't understand because you're a.. a.. a baby girl! You will understand when you're older!

Baby girl: But daddy is a zombie.. I will prove he is!

Mom: Baby girl... there is no such thing... Now where's the maid? I will have her put you to sleep now-

Dad: Ah! Um.. didn't she say she was going back to the province for a week?

Mom: No, she didn't.

Baby girl: Aha! Now I can prove daddy is a zombie!

Mom: Baby girl...

Baby girl: No mommy! I saw daddy eating the maid! And then, and then I got scared because the maid started eating daddy too! He said he would do it every time you are gone! And the maid said he was a monster then goes back to eating him!!

Mom: Ah... Is that so baby girl? *glares at dad*

Dad: Ah um baby, what kind of dreams are you having? Ahaha...

Mom: Is that all baby girl?

Baby girl: Yes mommy! You are lucky I stopped daddy before he finished you!

Mom: Ahah... It turns out there IS such a thing as zombies baby girl... How do you KILL a zombie, baby girl?

Baby girl: Ah mommy! That's easy! You shot the head! *chants* Head shot! Head shot! Head shot!

Mom: Ah is that soo?? ((Me: HEAD SHOT! HEAD SHOT! HEAD SHOT!))

Dad: *gulps*

Roughly translated from my native language(tagalog~) for all of yous~
Oh and the 'savings' one is also roughly translated from my language~

((ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, BOTH JOKES ARE FROM A PHILIPPINE TV SHOW CALLED "Banana Split"))