Way to the Glory [Max Verstappen]

Chapter 10 - Bouldern

Flashback (7 years ago [age 17] 30.11.2015)
The attention I get from the press after my first worldcup is incredible. Especially in Monaco and all the climbing magazines and blogs are talking about me. The local monegasque newspaper in Monaco interviewed me and I got really famous with my performance in the worldcup. Many people on the streets want to take pictures with me, when normally I was the one taking some images of my brothers and his fans. This event changed my life, now I weren't the small sister of Charles and Arthur, the young talents of the racing world. I am Angelica Leclerc, now one of the best climbers in the world, the young talent, which got seen for the first time. 

I don't really think any words could describe how good I feel at the moment, the moment I saw my trainer, I saw how happy he were. All who accompanied me, they celebrated with me, told me how proud they are, that I made that step into the public. And I? I can't exactly tell you how I feel, I feel relieved, happy, proud and strong, all at the same time. But as much as I enjoyed this there are always darksides. Everyone is now expecting, that I will be great again at the next worldcups, that I'm going to be at the top again. For example read through this part of an article. 

"New talent in climbing?
The younger sister of famous Charles Leclerc, showed up at her first worldcup as one of the new climbers, winning the bouldering and the lead worldcup in Innsbruck. No one had expected her to be better than the older and more experienced climbers. She definitley showed us her best side and won both the climbing and lead worldcup, but can she repeat it or was it just luck?...."

There were many articles like this one, who aren't sure if it was just luck to win both or if I'm really a good climber. Or here another section of an article from a climbing magazine.

"Angelica Leclerc, future of climbing?
No doubt she was incredibly strong and is a talent in this sport, she definitley isn't here, because of luck, but is she going to deliver results like this again at the next worldcups in a few months? If she wants to stay on the top of this sport, she has to perform again like in Innsbruck. ....."

This one is just pressuring me, because I feel like I have to perform, to get appreciated or otherwise they are going to like think it was just luck. And in any sport you have to like stay always in shape, because if you don't train so hard anymore like you did before, there are going to be many others who are better than you. There is one last article, which I want to appreciate, it is an interview with Alex Honnold. I talked to him several times at the worldcup and it was wonderful to have a chat with him. Also what he said about me was really lovely, he also told me I should take my time and not be disappointed, if at one worldcup my results aren't the one I expect. 

"We talked to Alex Honnold who was also at the worldcup "If you ask me, I'm sure she is an extreme talent. She is better than some think and will shape the world of climbing. If I'm not completley wrong now, she also has already broken some records and I think she is going to make some new. In my opinion Angelica is going to win now many worldcups and dominate this world. We should not judge her, if for example some worldcups are not 100% like some are expecting her now, but we will see what the future brings." ....."

I know maybe I'm overdramatic now, but I feel like all this articles, who are expecting me to perform at the next worldcup in around one month are pressuring me. You know I'm a really ambitious person, I'm hardworking and always trying to get better. Now when there is my internal pressure and than this external from some articles and social media, I think I'm going to soon break down under all this. When I scroll through all these articles about me, I'm not thinking about those who are just praising me, I think about these, who just think it was luck or some who think I'm in worldcup, because of my famous brothers. Even if I don't want to,  at the end of the day I remember the negative ones insted of the positive ones. Often this leads to training harder, eating less, focusing just on doing sport and workouts. People tell me I should stop training this much, Mom tries to get me to a doctor, because I'm not living healthy anymore. And to be honest I can understand them, my life is  just climbing at the moment, I'm training everyday, spending several hours in the climbing gym or  going rock climbing. Every two days I'm addionally in the normal gym and I can't stop, I just can't stop working out and climbing less. I am to anxious, to disappoint everyone, to disappoint the press, my family, my friends and my trainer. It is like an addiction for me, nobody can stop me, Lorenzo, Charles, Arthur, Pierre and Anthonie tried to hold me back a bit, but even they have no chance. It is my way to try to defeat the fear of failing and disappointing everyone.