dear eddie, (Eddie Munson x reader)

62 •

(TW: EATING DISORDER)

*that night*

My eyes fluttered open and I lifted my head slightly. I felt Eddie's body against mine and his arm wrapped around me. I turned my head to look at him. The dim light from the hallway making it easy to see his head resting against my neck. I smiled slightly as I crept out of bed. I stayed for a few seconds making sure he didn't wake up before creeping out of my room.

I walked to the kitchen rubbing my eye as I turned on the light. I walked over to the snack cabinet looking at all the snacks. We didn't have a lot. But all that was in there was junk food. I sighed closing it and walking to the fridge. Maybe I should eat something healthy? I looked around seeing some raspberries (idk imagine it's something else if u don't like it)

I took them out walking over to the table. I opened it and started eating some. Am I really ok with eddie now? He hurt me. He lied. He could still be lying. I looked down at the raspberries. This isn't enough. I need more. I got up putting them back in the fridge and went to the cabinet. I grabbed a bag about half full of my favorite chips and a cupcake and a cookie (like I said if u don't like it. Imagine it's something else.) I shouldn't have too much... I mean it wouldn't do to much. I'll start eating better tomorrow. I grabbed a water and sat at the table setting the stuff down. I stared at the food.

I grabbed the cupcake and started eating it. What if he came here already high on cocaine... no he looked normal... maybe I should just trust him? I sighed looking down and took another bite of my cupcake.

*********

I finished my cookie and cupcake and looked in the chip bag as I took another chip. It was almost gone. Fuck. Well. It's already almost gone... I should just finish it. I shrugged taking the last bit and eating it as I stood up grabbing my garbage. I walked to the trash Can as I swallowed the chips and threw the bag away. I washed my hands and I grabbed my water heading back to my room as I took a big sip. I've been having a hard time eating properly since all that shit happened. I keep telling myself I'll do better tomorrow. But I don't. It's the same thing everyday. I don't eat breakfast bc Im not hungry in the morning. I eat lunch like 50 percent of the time. Then I eat dinner and have some snacks. I can't help it... I need food.

I closed the door behind me and looked at eddie. Peacefully sleeping. I smiled as I set my water down on my sight stand. I listed my blanket up moving it out of the way and grabbing Eddie's arm lifting it. I slid into bed letting his arm rest on my waist and pulled the blanket back over us. Eddie started moving while Inhaling sharply. He stretched out and opened his eyes a bit looking down at me who was now facing him. I was laying on my side. He smiled and his grip tightened on my waist pulling our bodies together.

Eddie: "what are you doing awake?" He said in a scruffier voice (that voice when he first wakes up 😩🙏)

Y/n: "just had a snack." I smiled.

Eddie: "go back to sleep." He laughed and kissed my forehead. I watched as his eyes closed again. I rested my head against his chest and slipped my arm around his torso. And he moved his to wrap around my arm. He rubbed my back soothingly.

After a few minutes I still laid awake. But I could tell he fell asleep because he wasn't moving his hand anymore. I looked up at him. The image of his head lifting up from the table as I bathed into his room while he was doing cocaine flashed in my head. I shook it off feeling my eyes get watery. Then the image of him dying in my arms flashed through my mind. I squeezed my eyes as I felt the tears stream down my face. The thought of losing him to drugs is scares me. When I watched him die to vecna that wasn't by his choice... but this is. He chooses to do them. He's addicted to them. It's better for me to leave him. But I can't. I love him too much. The best thing I can do is help him.

I can't lose him. Not like that. I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath trying to relax. I looked up at him. He looks so pretty. I sighed as I rested my head to his chest again holding him a little tighter. I don't want to let him go yet.

I tried forgetting about all this shit and just going to sleep. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

(A/N: now istg if I see any comments making fun of the fucking food thing... I feel like y/n needs more real issues in her life. Like that bitch traumatized and hasn't been trying to deal with it. She basically tries to just forget abt it this whole story. If you haven't noticed even tho it's obvious I've never talked much about what u guys go thru and I did that to show you guys r trying to push this all away and forget about it instead of dealing with it. 😭 so. hopefully that made sense. Sorry for the shorter chapter 💀🙏)

HEHEHEHHEHEHE EDSTER 🤭

Ayo? 🤨