The Traps of the Black Swan

64

In Lisa's Bedroom

When Ruby Jane realized Naomi left, she raised her head to face Lisa pulling his chin down to look him in the eye, "Open your eyes..." She asked and saw his gentle smile appearing.

She doesn't even remember the past two years of him smiling, now she gets to see his varieties of his expression. "Why are you smiling?"

"Am I? Oh..." But the smile widened pinching her cheek until she shrugged his hand off and asked what she wanted.

"Why don't you like somebody who loves you? Don't you think I am selfish for not reciprocating your feelings completely when you are trying to spoil me?"

Lisa shook his head resignedly before asking, "You felt as selfish hence you want me to be selfish?"

Ruby Jane promptly asked, "When did I say I am feeling selfish?" Then she continued to tease, "Aren't you already taking advantage of me for twenty minutes? I am thinking it standing in your shoes."

He behaved as though he took her words seriously and he couldn't believe she thought he was taking advantage of her. He mused, "You really think I am taking advantage of you?" Then he sighed, "You are the one who is standing on my feet. The pot called the kettle black..."

Ruby Jane had thought he would leave her hearing it but the man amused her by identifying her words accurately. She chuckled but didn't respond to wait for him to respond.

Lisa didn't stop his slow movements to music as he responded caressing her head looking at her eyes which were ready to capture any lie if said, "Why should I like somebody who loves me when I already have the one who I love and who likes me back?"

Ruby Jane nodded and again tried in different methods, "Like and Love is different. Like is Want whereas Love is Need. Hmmm... Just like how I wished to hear gramophone, it was just 'a want', I could ignore it and move on. But you can't just move on with the need, there will be emptiness. Why are you fine with my want when you could be somebody's need?"

Lisa smiled hearing her. Even though he was ready to live with just her 'Want', just by being happy with her 'Like', he knew well he will be delighted being her 'Need'. Of course, it wasn't the need that makes one dependent on another, but the craving to have him in her life just like how he yearns for her.

An irreplaceable place just for him.

He didn't answer, instead asked, "Why? You don't want to love me?"

Ruby Jane pouted for earning a question back, "Not like that. I don't want to fake or push myself into something I couldn't give justice. It would be further unfair for you."

Lisa used the standard line leaving her at a loss of words, "Everything fair in Love and War."

'Undoubtedly, Naomi is behind my life.' She thought and gave a death glare for him to respond promptly.

"Ruby Jane, don't you think what you said has the answer in it? I don't want to be with somebody as their love other than yours even if you can only like me."

Ruby Jane chided him, "Lovestruck fool!" Then she went back to embrace him resting her head below his chin while the curved lips didn't settle down.

Lisa peeked at her and saw her closed eyes with a happy little face. He doubtfully asked to know her response, "What will you do if you fall in love with somebody else?"

Ruby Jane opened her eyes hearing him, she tried to imagine somebody else holding her, hugging her, and even kissing her forehead but nothing synced, other than Lisa being in each imagination.

"Nope, this life I want to be selfish." She loved her family but was betrayed in the end leaving her hurt every time so she will definitely be selfish. "I want to be with someone who loves me, no one else."