Chapter-33

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Yardan's pov

After hearing all the complaints I didn't waste any time. I went to meet the doctor who aborted Maryam's child before. I  knew that only the doctor can tell me what was wrong with Maryam. Shit! I should have heard him properly before giving that medicine to Maryam.

Reaching the hospital I told him about Maryam's behaviour. The way she was behaving is very alarming. What if she hurts Yamir & Omaira?

" I told you earlier that this medicine will bring behavioural changes," the doctor again reminded me.

He told me earlier but I never thought it will be this severe. I thought she will just cry for a few days and then everything will be normal. But, I was wrong. I shouldn't have given this medicine to her. I was silent after hearing the doctor.

" It became popular in the early 90s because it doesn't harm the reproductive organs but very soon researchers found out that it is harmful to the nervous system. As a result, a lot of countries banned this medicine though it's still used in some countries. I just told you about this medicine because you were asking me about all the abortion pills and ways. I never thought you would choose this one," the doctor said and I am truly regretting my decision after hearing him.

A/N- As usual the medical things described here are completely fictional. If you are a doctor than use your knowledge where it's needed not in a fictional story. 🙄

I asked sounding worried," Isn't there any way to cure her?

" You should consult a psychiatrist. I think in such cases the patient had to consume mood stabilizers regularly. Except for this medicine's effect, your wife is genuinely depressed. Try to support her emotionally," He suggested and I sighed.

I tried to support her, and cheer her up but she pushed me away.  What can I do now? She doesn't even talk to me. 

Honestly saying, I am missing her a lot. It's not just my physical attraction toward her. I want to talk to her and make her smile. I never thought I will start having some sort of feelings for her.   I don't know if it's love or if I am just pitiful to her.

I said looking down," I am trying to make her normal. I am trying to cheer her up but she doesn't let me near her."

" You can't give up this early. You are her husband. The most vital support should come from you. After killing her children that's the least you can do for her," The doctor said and the annoyance in his voice wasn't unheard by me.

Then, he said sounding extremely sorry for her," If she gets pregnant again, don't kill her baby. She won't be able to bear this time."

Nodding my head I left his room hurriedly. His last sentence moved something in me. Her baby! Those babies were mine too but I couldn't accept them like Yamir & Omaira. I don't want to impregnate Maryam again but if she does............. I don't know.

Her tears and crying face have started giving me disturbance. I used to have no feelings for her because Mahi died for her. But, I don't know how things are changing now. I do feel something for her. I have to make her normal again whether she wants to talk to me or not. Maybe I can't love her the way I loved Mahi but at least I can care for her.

Author's pov

" I have gone mad, right?" Maryam mumbled sitting in her easy chair.

Yardan answered after placing the medicines on the table," You are just disturbed. Nothing else. The doctor said you will be fine."

" He said I had to continue these medicines regularly. That means I will go mad if I stop having them," she asked letting out a few drops of tears.

Yardan took Maryam to a psychiatrist and indeed she was having mental illnesses. Her baby's death has left a big scar in her mind. The doctor suggested that Yardan be careful about Maryam.

" You will be fine," he answered getting close to her.

He stared at her face for some time. She was looking lost. Her whole face was clouded with sadness. He never saw her properly before their marriage. But, the first two years of their marriage were civilised. She used to smile, talk and take care of Yamir & Omaira properly. But, now everything is gone. Her soul wasn't with her anymore. Somewhere in his heart, he knows that he is responsible for her situation but he doesn't want to admit it. 

Yardan raised his hands to touch her but remembering her previous reaction he withdrew his hands away. He turned away but a tug on his kandura stopped him. Looking behind he found her holding his Kandura.

" Hmm?" He asked shortly.

Maryam said keeping her eyes outside," Divorce me. You will find another substitute."

" What are you even saying?" He asked frowning her brows.

Maryam started explaining," I am mentally unstable. Last night I hurt an innocent person. What if I hurt Yamir & Omaira? What if I hurt you?"

" Substitutes are replaceable. You can find another woman as your wife. Divorce me and then send me to a mental asylum," she suggested making Yardan speechless.

Getting no response from him, she looked at his face. She stared at his face for a few seconds like she was analysing him. But, she didn't understand anything. She doesn't know what she was thinking. She was broken beyond the level when Yardan took her to a psychiatrist. She can't accept that she is having mental disturbance.

" Can I suggest you something?" He asked her.

Maryam replied meekly," Yes."

" Try to forget everything and share your feelings with me. You will feel better. Let's not think about what has happened already. Let me take care of you. Your family doesn't care for you the way they should care for their daughter. You have no one but me," He suggested but Maryam wasn't understanding what she should say.

Her family doesn't care for her. But, why? Her mother doesn't love her like her other siblings. Why? She loves her mother like any other child. Then, why her mother is always upset about her? She wondered.

" They asked for money again?" Maryam asked sounding embarrassed.

Yardan replied," They did. But, I gave them very limited money. Since they are Mahi's family as well so I just gave them money thinking about her."

" Oh," Maryam said shortly and looked outside again.

Caressing her cheek he grabbed her attention. When she looked at him, he held her hands tightly.

He asked gently," Would you let me take care of you?"

He will take care of her? How? She wondered. Till now he has hurt her only. She never saw his gentle side except for the time when she was carrying their second baby. Does he really want to take care of her? She doesn't know. Moreover, she was feeling helpless. Where will she go? If her family comes to know that she is having mental disturbances they will never accept her back. Yes, she is educated and can divorce him easily but the emotional obligation towards Yamir & Omaira, her lack of self-esteem and now her mental situation is not letting her think of anyone except Yardan.  

" I don't know," Maryam replied honestly.

Yardan said," I promise I will heal every single pain in your heart."

" Will you? She asked widening her eyes.

He replied kissing her knuckles," Give me a chance."

Maryam was silent after hearing him. Chance!! Didn't she give him enough chances to make everything better?

" I don't know anything. I am not understanding what I should say. I just need some peace. Maybe I will find it in a mental asylum," Maryam whispered with an inaudible voice.

Pulling her into a tight hug, he said parting her back," You will find peace soon. With me. Let me take care of you."

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