Visiting Hours | yoonmin |

Seeking for Love

So I could just swing by and ask your advice

💫⭐✨⭐💫

Another year had passed. Another milestone for me. Another year without you.

To be honest, I'm scared.

Scared to see what the future holds for me. Scared to step forward and meet the changes.

Is it normal?

I don't want to spend my remaining days living in fear for the unexpected. I want to stay at peace, like what you did even though the situation got worse for the two of us.

How can the world be unfair?

It was late at night, and we're at home, watching your favorite movie, "The Notebook". You've been watching it since the day it is released. You would often say how you relate to the main characters. How they inspire you to keep loving others.

Whenever you told me that, I would laugh, but not in a mocking way. The way you said those things amazed me.

How many more things are inside your head, Park Ji Min?

Are you a living book of quotes and beautiful things to say?

To me, the words escaping your mouth looks like flowers blooming out of nowhere, colors and scent filling me with calmness and intelligence. And sure enough, I slowly learned that life isn't that cruel.

Unfortunately, it changed.

Cuddled next to me, you're talking about the main character's story, explaining to me things I didn't quite understand, due to my distraction, looking at you endlessly.

Our time was magical, with the noise of the TV in the background, the cracking of food packages that we put on our lap.

It seems that no one will ruin this moment, everything was perfect and cozy to be put aside for anything else. With you in my arms, the warmth you provide, I can't be more contented than this.

Yet, I was always wrong.

I felt you stir a little, putting your head on my shoulder. Your breathing ceased, you growing limp. I looked at you, seeing that your eyes were closed. Smiling, I kissed your forehead. Because I thought you're tired and fell asleep.

Minutes passed. And I notice something that your breathing is not that constant. Suddenly, something dropped on my jeans, wetting a little.

Once I looked down, I panicked.

There it was, a tiny drop of blood.

I immediately made your head turn to me.

I should have been alert. I should have been attentive.

Your eyes were completely close, blood streaming down your button nose. I put my other hand on your cheeks, flinching a little.

You've become cold.

So cold.

Panic rose even more in me. Cupping your face, I tried to shake you a little.

But nothing.

Your hand that was once placed on my lap dropped to your side, pale like your face.

"Jimin?"

No response.

"Love, wake up."

Again, silence.

"Jimin, please."

I couldn't take it anymore. I carried you to our car in the garage, putting you in the backseat. I went back inside to grab your coat, cellphone and the house key.

That time, I couldn't contact Namjoon or any of our friends. I'm too paranoid to even do that. I was scared to lose you back then. Scared to live alone.

I started the car, and drove to the nearest hospital as fast as possible. After what seem like eternity to me, which in reality is 10 minutes, we arrived at our destination.

I carried you hurrily, shouting for nurses to assist you.

"Help me, my boyfriend is in danger!"

And at that, two nurses came to and carried you inside. They lay you in a bed, and wheeled you into a room.

I stayed at the lobby, with only on my pajamas.

"Why?"

That's the only word I whispered to myself.

The patients who passed by me stopped to check on me. They gave me look of sympathy which I don't want to accept. I only want Jimin's sympathy. I only want him with me. But he's inside, fighting with his life.

An important fight to stay with me.

The coldness of your skin that night still haunt me. It would make me shiver, resulting to wrap every warm thing to my body. Sometimes, Yeoreum found me in the corner of our room, with a blanket around my shoulder. She would hug me, whispering sweet nothings on my ear.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Papa. Trust me."

One time, she found me near the bathroom door, huddled with tons of blankets from our bed.

At first, she didn't move. But she eventually made her way to me, wrapping me in a hug.

"Sorry Yeoreum, if Papa acts like this." I said, sobbing.

"It's okay, Papa. Grown-ups should sulk and cry too like children." She replied, smiling her toothy smile.

At those times, Yeoreum helped me cope. She helped me become a little stronger.

But did you know?

I'm still seeking for something.

Something that only you could give me.

I'm still...

Seeking for your love, Jimin.

🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧