The funeral is today, I picked Matty up and I could tell he was trying really hard not to break down in front of me. I pulled him into a hug and he leaned all of his weight against me, head bending all the way down to rest on my shoulder. I pulled away after a minuet and he looked down sadly at me, flops of curly hair covering part of his face. "Should we go?" I ask him and he nods, grabbing my hand and I lead him to the car.
Ashely let me borrow hers, thank god otherwise we would have to walk there. Matty sat in the passengers seat, head leaning towards the window. The sun is out, but I can tell that's not helping him at all. I slid my hand to his hand and grabbed it, and squeezed it for a second. "It's going to okay, Matty." I reply softly and he doesn't respond. I know how much his grandfather means to him, and how hard it is to loose someone you love.
Matty directs me to the funeral home in little mumbles and once we arrive, Matty breaks down. "I can't do it Evie, I just can't." Some tears escape his eyes as he looks at me in slight panic. I grab his face and look him in eyes, my black gloves warming his cold face. "Matty, it's going to be fine. I'm here, it's going to be alright." I rub my thumbs softly against his cheekbones. Matty leans his face into my hand and nods a little.
"Lets go baby." I whisper and Matty gets out. He holds out his arm for me to intertwine with his. I don't think he's doing to be like a gentlemen, I think he's doing it for his support. I know he doesn't want to break down again. We walk to the back outside to the cemetery where his family gathers around a closed coffin. Matty approaches them with slow steps, one of them turns, eyes bloodshot and he shoots Matty a harsh glare.
I'm confused. Some others turn around, some glaring, and others ignoring us. I don't ask Matty why they're doing it, he just keeps pushing forward. I can't keep my eyes off of the sleek, wooden coffin no matter how much I try. Matty is the exact opposite. We finally reach the group but Matty wants to remain in the back, nearly away from everyone else. The man in front of us turns around and looks at me. "Another girl?" he raises an eyebrow and I look up at Matty.
'Another girl?' What does that mean? Matty squeezes my hand reassuringly, but there's a pit of confusion that can't be replaced by that. The man turns around and Matty shakes away the tears and stares at the ground. With the tip of his combat boot he kicks at some of the grass. The ceremony begins and we all listen carefully. A woman comes up and Matty listens intently, his mom maybe?
"My father was a hero," she began strong , "I worshiped him, and loved him dearly. I know where he is, that great big pizza shop in the sky." She lets out a dry chuckle as does the rest of the family. An inside joke that I wish I understood. I lean against Matty and he rests his head on top of mine. His mother continues. "I know we will all miss him dearly, he cherished everyone of you. I wish he could've been here to see how our family has grown together after," she chokes up, "the accident."
Matty tenses and grips onto my arm. "I can't do it." He says and I reassure him with a hand hold. Matty stays calm as his mom continued. I look around at Matty's family, a small group. There are no children around, which makes sense in some cases. "He was a hero in the eyes of those who truly loved him. And we know that he will rest in peace, forever in our hearts." She wipes away her tears and exits the podium. It's Matty's turn and I wasn't aware that he had to speak. My heart tenses up. He's not going to be able to do it alone.
Matty breaks away from my arm and makes his way to the small stand. I wring my hands together, tying them in knots. With shaking hands, he takes out a slip of paper and begins to read it with an equally shaky breath. "I remember when I was young he used to tell me that music was the key to a persons heart," he gulps and some tears start to form. I've never seen him like this before.
"At the time I was confused by his statement. 'But music can't open hearts' I would say." A small smile shakes across his face and I give a weak smile as well. "As I grew up I began to understand him more. Music was the key to everything. A revolution, love, life." He glances up at me with a hesitant gaze and turns back to his paper. He reminds me of a nervous child giving a speech. "My grandfather has taught me many things. And I will never forget him or the impact he has had on my life. He will be missed by all."
Matty gives a small head nod and returns to me, nearly collapsing on top of me with relief.
I grip tight of his arm. He did it.
After the service we went to gather inside and Matty insisted on us sitting alone in the back by the large window over looking the cemetery. I wanted to meet his family, but it's not my day today. It's all about him today, he's the one grieving. He's already ordered three drinks and I watch him slowly finish them off one by one. I watch his family talk. They are nothing alike, Matty and his family.
He is very mysterious, closed off. His family is open, loving, like a family you would see in a perfect magazine. He glares at them all. "Do you want to talk to them?" I asked and he shakes his head, glaring back down at his drink. I purse my lips and think. Why is he being stubborn? Why isn't he talking to anyone and why isn't anyone talking to him?
"Do you want to talk about whatever's wrong?" I ask and Matty looks up and opens his mouth, but someone else speaks. "Matthew. Didn't expect you to attend." The man is short, stout, and on the heavier side. A woman follows, standing behind him. She is the exact opposite, she's tall, lean, and graceful. She's like a wave and he the rock in her path.
Matty looked at the couple, married I assume by the way the woman places her hand on his shoulder, showing off her glowing ring. "Who is your lady friend?" the short man glances at me and Matty speaks as if he is about to burst out of anger. "This is Evie. My girlfriend." Matty speaks through gritted teeth and I can't help but blush. I don't think he's ever called me his girlfriend. The short man snorts as well as the lady who gives a grinch like smile.
"Will she turn out like the last one?" asks the man within laughs and Matthew can't take it. He slams his drink down and stomps away. The couple continue to laugh and taunt and I quickly follow Matty. I catch him in the elevator, I slide in just as the doors were about to close. "This was a mistake." He mumbles in anger and I watch him. "I shouldn't have brought you here-" I shut him up with a kiss.
Matty leans into me, thankful for the affection. He wraps his arms around my waist slowly and I pull away, hands on his cheeks. "Stop punishing yourself." I tell him and Matty nods, kissing one of my fingers lightly. "I just want to go home. Mourn in peace." He rests his forehead against mine and takes a deep breath. I've never felt more sorrow for anyone in my life.
