This Reality

18: The Things I Don't Tell Her

A/N
I seem to have made a habit of updating at midnight. Oops. Anyway, this is overdue but it's almost 900 words so hopefully that makes up for it!
Please vote and comment if you like it!
Enjoy,
Kori.

Astrid is going to go to her old home. Where she lived years ago. Where she shared memories of her parents and her brother. Where she grew up.

She puts the book back into the box and picks it up. They open the locker and each take a box.

On their way out, Jax speaks to her.
"Are you sure you want to do this? It won't be too much for you?"
Astrid takes a breath. "I think I can handle it."

Since it is about nine o clock in the evening, they head back to the hotel for the night. They'll go tomorrow.
Milla and Jax share a room, while Tiger and Astrid bunk together.

"Astrid?" Tiger says quietly, in the dark midnight silence.
"Yeah?" She replies from her bed across the room.
"Oh good you're awake. I just wanted to ask you something," they say. "Do you miss your real family?"
There is a pause before Astrid answers.
"I didn't use to. You can't miss someone you don't remember. But when I fell from the balcony in the Leaders' government, some of the memories came back. I miss them now."
"Oh," Tiger whispers.
Another pause.
"Does it hurt?"
"Yeah," comes Astrid's voice barely audible.

Tiger climbs out of their bed and lightly pads across the room. They lie down in Astrid's bed next to her.
"Do you ever miss your parents? Astrid asks Tiger, trying to stifle a yawn.
"I do sometimes. I know that I shouldn't, because of the way they hurt me, but I can't help it, you know? They are my family. Well, they were. They don't exactly want anything to do with me any more," they say quietly and sadly.

The only response is a light snore coming from Astrid.
Tiger just smiles and takes her hand.
Within five minutes they are both asleep.

•

"Hey."
No, go away, I'm trying to sleep.
"Hey," accompanied by a nudge.
She opens her eyes. It's morning.

"We're going to your old house today, remember," says Tiger, who had been trying to wake her up.

Her eyes open wider as she remembers. She sits up and rubs her eyes. "O-oh yeah, give me ten minutes to get dressed, I'll meet you in Jax and Milla's room, it's just next door, right?"
"Yeah, see you in a bit."

She jumps into the shower for a minute or so and brushes her teeth. Who doesn't love free hotel stuff? She chooses what to wear from the suitcase Milla gave her, containing some of her old clothes. They are a little big but comfortable and Astrid likes them that way. She chooses a dark green long sleeved top and black jeans.

She knocks on the door of the next room, and Jax answers.
"Hey, you ready to go down to the breakfast hall? We'd better eat before we go," he says.
"Of course," laughs Milla, coming out of the room followed by Tiger, "food before everything."
"Well, it's a long drive. You used to live quite near the Permitters' headquarters, which is quite far from here. This is the closest hotel from the Leaders' government building,"
"Oh. Are we leaving here for good?" Asks Astrid in quietly in response.
"Are you ready to go back to the Permitters? We can all live there now, if that's okay with you two," says Milla, looking at Astrid and Tiger.
They both nod.

The breakfast hall reminds Astrid of the Permitters' headquarters. The layout is so similar it gives her the creeps. They drink coffee and eat toast, then go back up to their rooms.

While they are packing, Astrid and Tiger talk.
"Are you looking forward to moving back?" They ask.
"Well," sighs Astrid, "yes. I want to leave this place. I don't like this town, my parents died here and it only makes me think of them."
"But you want to go and visit your family home?"
"That's different. They were happy there. They were there by choice."
Tiger falls silent.

They lock their rooms and take their key cards with them. They check out at reception and go to the van. It's exactly where they left it yesterday. They all get in and ready themselves for a long journey. They assume previous positions: Milla and Jax in the front, Astrid and Tiger in the back with the bags.

They set off and the long journey gives Astrid time to think. It gives me time to think too. She thinks about her old house. I think about all the things she doesn't know but that I remember.
The subconscious mind is an amazing thing.

I remember everything about her parents and her brother. Her mother's voice, her father's eyes, her brother's smile, and the day he died. Astrid had been adopted by Jax and Milla and had moved into their apartment before then. Milla and Jax would work at the headquarters during the day but not live there. When Astrid was at her parents house they stayed at the headquarters and worked overtime.

The day that her brother died was a few months after she was adopted. Astrid never knew what was wrong with her brother, and neither do I. All that I know, she once knew. She just forgot it all, and only remembered her family's faces after the fall. That's all the memory she regained.