Just for the Holidays

The Plan

"Ok, hear me out. It's going to sound kind of crazy but I need you to just listen and then you can ask questions," Nayeon started nervously. Mina raised a suspicious eyebrow but nodded.

"We go home to our families like nothing happened."

Nayeon could tell Mina was floored. It was in the way her eyes were wide, her mouth was open, and her hands rested on her thighs. Nayeon couldn't even believe she was proposing this, but at the same time, it kind of made sense. Technically no one knew that they had ended their long-term relationship (four years, two months, and twelve days to be exact) a week ago so it wasn't quite out of the question. Mina had broken up with Nayeon after being on and off for several months. At first, Nayeon had tried really hard to fight it. Ultimately, she knew that the more she pushed the younger girl to stay, the harder it would be to maintain any sort of relationship with her. So she let her go, and at this point, Nayeon wasn't sure if she had done the right thing. Having her in my life is better than nothing. Sensing Mina's hesitation, she spoke up again.

"I mean, we already have all the flights booked. Everyone's looking forward to it and it would be such a hassle to change everything. You hate making phone calls and I don't have the time, I'm sure the airline is canceling things left and right so who knows if we will actually get our money back or just credits-" Nayeon rambled and looked at Mina, searching for a response on her face. It was clear she was stressed and unsure of how this would land with the younger girl. 

"Are you sure you want to do this? Things are already kind of weird between us since we are still living together but not together and no one knows," Mina questioned. They had agreed to stay together until they figured out how to tell everyone what had happened, but with how busy things had been, they hadn't taken the time to finalize logistics. They also both knew that once Mina moved out, it would be real and neither would admit that they weren't quite ready for that yet.

"I'm going to be fully transparent, I can't handle my parents alone," Nayeon started, with Mina chuckling in the background, knowing exactly what she meant. It's something that was easily understood on the surface but would take years of experience to understand deeply. "They love me, but maybe too much. I don't want them to be fixated on me being single for the holidays, it would kill me. I'd be smothered, I can't do it."

"I mean at least your parents would smother you. My parents would probably be relieved if I told them you weren't coming. My sisters might be a little sad though."

"Ah yes, homophobia. We love to see it. But hey maybe it could work for you, too? Just to shove it in your dad's face. Like an ice breaker, except I'm hopefully making it better for the next girl you bring home? He likes me, just doesn't like that I'm influencing you to pursue the homosexual lifestyle. Although, it'll be hard for them to compete with perfection."

Mina rolled her eyes but then looked deep in thought, contemplating Nayeon's proposition. This seemed a little crazy, and possibly super confusing for them. But some very good points were made, and that couldn't be denied.

"Ok. I really just want to see the look on my parent's faces when I bring you home, too," Mina smiled. Her parents (especially her dad) were pretty homophobic so this is something that would have to happen eventually. Might as well get them used to it so when someone she was actually with came by, they would be used to it.

"Is that a yes? Wow, I had so many more reasons because I thought I would need to convince you more," Nayeon breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm still open to bribes, but seeing as this is mutually beneficial, I'm down. I'll pretend to be your girlfriend for another two weeks. We are still broken up though, so no funny business. I guess it won't be much different now, it's just that we know and no one else will know," Mina said thoughtfully. She didn't notice the waiver in Nayeon's smile.

Nayeon nodded. "Our little secret."

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They were flying to New York to see Nayeon's family first. The Im's were a warm bunch, albeit a little crazy. They lived in the suburbs of the city, probably upper-middle class but Nayeon had been raised with the mentality that they were poor. They had been the most accepting of this relationship, welcoming Mina with open arms, especially after hearing about her family. Nayeon's younger sister Jihyo had even mumbled "finally" when Nayeon had revealed they were dating, earning a blush from Mina and a scowl from the older girl.

They were fairly picture-perfect, but Mina had been around long enough to know that under the surface there was an underlying tension, one that rested squarely upon the shoulders of one Im Nayeon. No one had ever asked her to solve their family problems, it had just been a mantle she bore in order to hold everything together. She was indeed the eldest daughter of an immigrant family. Nayeon never complained, but Mina had seen her cry twice in their relationship: once because of her, and the second time because the weight of her family had been too much to handle. These moments lay with Mina alone since Nayeon would never show any sign of weakness to her family. That's how she was raised, and that's how it would be.

Nayeon would never admit it, but she was tired. Tired of the expectations, tired of carrying everything herself, and tired of never feeling like she was good enough. She had shared pieces of this with Mina, but it was slowly becoming more apparent to her, crashing over her like waves on the shore. What wasn't to be proud of in her life? She was loved by her family, in her friend groups, and even at her workplace. Unfortunately, it was her relationship that left something to be desired. Perhaps the breakup would be a good thing, so she could finally figure out how to take care of herself first.

The next stop would be Texas, a place that Nayeon hadn't really enjoyed, but Mina had always loved. She had been raised comfortably, her dad being chief of medicine at Memorial Hermann. Her parents had raised her fairly religiously, so the fact that Mina's dad liked Nayeon but hated that she was dating his daughter shouldn't have been a surprise to either of them. Her mom was more understanding, a southern woman with a big heart, but still not quite an advocate for the relationship. She had four younger sisters, Momo, Sana, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung, all of them two years apart, each one more liberal than the last. Because of them, their parents had started being more accepting, but the damage had already been done when they sent Mina away to another country for having her first girlfriend.

Mina very easily could've landed in a similar role as Nayeon, but she was never really around her family enough to do so. Distance in miles and age had made it hard to keep up with her sisters, so these yearly trips were basically all she had. Each one had interacted with Nayeon, and no one had been able to resist her charms. The youngest, Chaeyoung, had always been a fan of them, even coining the term "minayeon." Despite her relationships with her younger siblings, she had never quite been able to mend her relationship with her parents, although it's hard to fix something when the other party isn't willing to communicate and move forward.

It wasn't that Mina didn't love Nayeon. She loved so many things about this girl with bunny teeth. The life they had built together was picture perfect, not unlike Nayeon's family. The problem was the passage of time. The spark had fizzled and she wasn't so sure that Nayeon was the person she wanted to live her life with anymore. What was once excitement had been replaced with an overflowing sink full of dishes and a dull annoyance because she knew Nayeon would be mentioning it soon enough. They didn't talk like they used to, their lives too hectic to hold the other. Perhaps their time had run out.

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Nayeon looked over at Mina on the airplane. Where had things gone wrong? Maybe they had stopped trying and that was why Mina had broken up with her. Both of them had been so busy with their lives, Mina in medical school and Nayeon putting in extra hours to try and move up in her company. Mina had mentioned this to her, among other reasons including feeling bored, and how maybe they had never really been a good match. She brushed a strand of hair out of the sleeping girl's eyes.

It had broken Nayeon's heart with every conversation they had around this, but she tried her best to be supportive of what Mina wanted. She wanted her to be happy right? Even if that happiness no longer included her, and reminded her every day of the hollowness in her chest where the laugh of a certain Japanese girl used to reside. Not just her laugh, but everything about the girl. The nose scrunch of disgust when she was tasting a new recipe of Nayeon's, constellations on her face leading to a smile that sparkled like the moon. Nayeon sighed as she looked over at the girl, snoring peacefully in the dark. She hadn't exactly vocalized it yet, but her plan was to woo Mina on this trip. She had two weeks, and she didn't know if it was the romantic in her, but she knew in her heart that she couldn't give up so easily. Not when the love of her life was on the line.