Just for the Holidays

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Today was the day Mina was moving out. The rest of their trip had been uneventful, Mina could barely hold it together in front of her family as they left, and her dad refused to talk to her after that day where they had fought. She didn't know how Nayeon did it with her family. Part of this had felt wrong, lying to the people closest to them, and yet somehow they had pulled it off.

They had been back for four days, and the majority of it had been spent sifting through what was Mina's and what was Nayeon's. It had been awkward, since Nayeon insisted on sleeping on the couch even though she was the one who would be keeping the bed. Mina had made arrangements to stay at her aunt's place until she could find something more stable. At this moment, neither of them really knew what they were doing, they were just going through the motions of this break up.

They had spent the morning pretending nothing was wrong, joking with each other even though the events of the day were ever present in the back of their minds. Mina didn't have a ton of stuff, so she would just load it into her car and she would be off, leaving Nayeon alone in what used to be their home. 

"Hmm you know I could really go for some kimbap," Mina said to herself, sealing up one of the last boxes.

"Oh, ok. I'll go get some," Nayeon said, putting on her jacket and grabbing her keys.

"You don't have to do that!" Mina exclaimed, stunning herself. Truthfully, she didn't want Nayeon to leave. And even more so, she wasn't sure that she wanted to leave.

"No, I want to. I'll be right back." And with that, Nayeon grabbed her keys and left. Her head was pounding with a million thoughts as she drove to the Korean market, trying to slow them down and understand what they were all saying.

The trip to Mina's family had been really tough. Between her own feelings and then Mr. Myoi's outburst, she felt like she had really messed things ups for them. That's why she had been trying to practice friendliness with Mina, and keeping her distance. She figured it was for the better since this is what the younger girl wanted. And she couldn't keep fighting it, right? After their talk that night, she had hoped Mina would say something, but after she got back from her shower, Mina was asleep. She sighed as she kept driving down the road. It felt like they just kept missing each other. She thought about the events of the whole trip, smiling while she thought about the park and ice skating and all the siblings she had interacted with. She thought about the way Mina's eyes looked at her after she had stood up to her father. That was the face of the woman she loved. That was the face of the woman she couldn't bear to lose, and yet she had let her go.

"I should turn this car around, right?" Nayeon mumbled to herself. "No, that's crazy. She said she wanted to leave. I have to respect that."

She could very well let her go, and let Mina live the life she said she wanted to. But at the same time, she was still so in love with this woman. The idea of living life without her made her chest ache to the point she thought she might throw up. But there she was, watching her walk away now. If there was any chance left, she knew she would hate herself if she didn't take it.

Nayeon swerved into the left turn lane, crossing three lines of traffic, angry drivers behind her honking. She didn't care. She sped home, running yellow lights, cruising through stop signs, all she could think about was Mina.

Mina, who listened to her conspiracy theories. Mina, who had fallen in love with her first and patiently waited for the other girl to come around. Mina, who always understood what Nayeon was saying before even she knew. Mina, Mina, Mina. Her heart throbbed thinking that she might've missed the girl, or that maybe it was too late. The neighborhood children were surprised to see her driving with such speed over the speed bumps.  As she turned the corner into her driveway, Nayeon's heart sank when her worst fears had been realized.