𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 | 𝗆𝗂𝖽90𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗅

𝟎𝟎𝟏

                    No matter where Ellie was, or who she was with, there was only one smell that could make her instantly relax. It wasn't vanilla or clean smelling candles. It wasn't candles that smelt like men or the smell of Christmas. It wasn't the smell of rain — although that smell was in her top 10s — and it wasn't her favorite lotion from Bath and Body works. It was Estee. Estee had the most unique smell in the entire world; she didn't even smell like the expensive perfume every girl in the world was wearing at the moment. Her scent was how Ellie imagined Heaven to smell like; happiness and love — as corny as that sounded.

She couldn't take her eyes off Estee. She was like a Goddess in human form. Clearly, Estee had outgrown her messy teenager look and truly looked like a grown woman. Her once-upon-a-time bob had grown down past her shoulders — still the dark, glistening black it had always been. She had lost weight in her face and it had reached her hips now. She was beautiful.

"Are you listening to me?"

Ellie blinked back and escaped her daze as she sat upright on Estees freshly washed white bed. Estee hadnt wasted a moment to move out of her parents house and move into the cutest loft Ellie had ever seen. 

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be listening to you"

Estees lips formed into a tight line, "What did I say?"

Ellie inhaled, filling her cheeks with air, making her look like a chipmunk.

"That you love me and youre so happy I'm here?" Estee rolled her eyes, "No."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I missed you a lot Es" with a smile, Estee dropped her head onto Ellies lap.

"So before you dazed off cause I'm so beautiful, I saw how your face looked, are you stressing about something?"

Ellie sighed, dropping back onto Estees soft, fluffed pillows. Her mind swirled with thoughts. Stressed? No. Scared? Definitely. He'd been on her mind ever since she started her trip down to LA, which was over 12 hours ago, but actually being there made everything feel all too real. Estees apartment wasn't far from where her parents house was, and Fuckshit didnt live too far from there. She felt like no matter where she went, he would be around.

Estees body moved up as her hands cupped her best friends face.

"I really really dont think you need to worry, okay? No one has talked to him in a while, I mean.. the last time I spoke to him was like 3 months ago. I even asked Ray if he was still around because I was worried that this would happen and he said he barely talks to him" that didn't make Ellie feel any better. She worried that he was alone. She didn't want that, not for anyone.

"I don't get it. Fuckshit..? Disappearing like that? He's the last person I'd think would leave the group" Estee shrugged, leaning down on her hand.

"Well its not like he just up and left, I mean, he's still around just kinda..." Estee paused, looking into Ellie's eyes before shooting them back down, as if she was avoiding Ellie. "He just does his own thing now, Els. Fourth Grades birthday was two weeks ago and Fuckshit told us he was busy with work" Ellie looked into Estees eyes, a laugh erupting from her mouth.

"Work..?  A job? Fuckshit?" Estee shrugged again, proudly this time.

"I'm serious, Ellie. Before we like.. stopped hanging out after you left, he got a job with his dad at some weird business place and he stopped going to parties too" the person Estee was describing didn't even sound like the Fuckshit, not the one that loved and hurt Ellie at the same time.

"I remember the last like big party we had was for graduation and it was fucking big. Ray invited pro skaters and producers and just like, so many people. The whole time, Fuckshit just sort of sat in the corner, ignored everybody and literally drank one beer, that's it. Ellie Im so serious, he didn't even pay attention to the girls" Ellies eyebrows furrowed. She wasn't sure why, but something made her nervous about this new Fuckshit. It made her wonder if she had caused him to grow so distant.

"Enough about Fuckshit, I don't think we'll see him much and plus, you're only here for two weeks. Rays birthdays tomorrow and I was sorta planning on you being his surprise..?" Ellie smiled brightly. She couldn't believe Ray was already turning 20, he really was like her big brother now.

"Of course! I would never miss that, but—" Ellie stopped. She felt that even though Estee didn't think they would see Fuckshit, Ellie knew she would see him somewhere, eventually. It wasn't necessarily that she didn't want to see him, because she did, it was knowing she would have to have a full conversation with him about moving and about them. She dreaded it more than anything.

"He's still his best friend.. even if Fuckshit isnt around as much, Ray and him were there for eachother when no one was so yeah Els, I think he will be there" there was no escaping him, was there?

Though Ellie wasn't sure she wanted to. She missed his warmth and his touch. She missed everything about him, even at his worst. She knew this would be it. She would see him at the party.

She inhaled deeply. "Okay. What're we going to wear?"

THIS WAS SOOO RUSHEDDDDD IM SO SORRRY BAES. i'm writing an original book right now at the same time as this one so forgive me for making this chapter a lil short. love yallllll i'll keep updating <333.