𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

089

Kidnapper: "Heya, kid. Your dad told me to give you something."

Peter: "My dad's dead . . . "

Kidnapper: *Stares at fourth wall.* "Fuck."

⸻

Robber: "Hey, I've just brought this parcel directly from your mother."

Nat: "My mother? Must have been a very long time ago."

Robber: "Pardon?"

Nat: "My mother is dead."

Robber: "Why do I always pick the orphans?"

⸻

Serial killer: "Hey there. Your brother asked me to give you this." *Holds out parcel.*

Thor: "It isn't a snake, is it?"

Serial killer: "I'm not sure."

Thor: "Right, when I don't want it to be my dead brother in a disguise. If he stabs me again-"

Serial killer: "Dammit."

⸻

Hitman: "Your family wish you well, I was asked to give you this." *Extends hand.*

Wanda: "Who, sorry?"

Hitman: "Your parents and brother."

Wanda: "How are they?"

Hitman: "They're good. I can take you to them if you'd like."

Wanda: "They're all dead. So I'll pass. Thanks though."

Hitman: "Always the dead ones. Always."