Julia Lelieveld and the fifth element

~17~

"You've already caused a lot of talk for someone who just started school here."

I turned and there he was, Lucas.

A warm glow passed through me when I saw him. For a moment I forgot everything that had happened today. He looked at me seriously, it wasn't meant as a joke. I found myself having a big sigh of relief. Relief to see him.

"Hi," I said following the sigh. He looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes. His hair was stylishly disheveled and his jaw was tense. I saw incomprehension in his eyes, which turned into a concerned look. He was the first to not immediately ask me if I was okay. Before I knew it he walked over to me and took me in his arms. His strong arms formed a protective shield around me. He rested his head on my head. I put my arms around him too. My hands on his shoulder blades. He felt muscular under his shirt. I relaxed under his strong grip, resting my head on his chest. I heard his heart beating faster than a normal heart. This gesture meant so much to me.

The sharp edges of my feelings disappeared as he grabbed me there like that. It couldn't last long enough.

His arms rested on my back. He held me tight, as if trying to squeeze all the troubles out of me. It felt good.

He put a hand on the back of my head and I felt him lift his own head off me. He pressed his lips against my hair and kissed me gently.

His grip loosened and he tilted his head back slightly. Reluctantly I relaxed my arms around him and let go of my head from his warm and secure chest and looked at him. The warmth that had come from his kiss sank all the way down into my body.

His eyes were concerned and questioning. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked me. His voice was hoarse. I nodded. It will be good for me to talk about today. I have to tell someone anyway. He took my hand and led me to the bleachers where we sat. I told him it started with me slipping in the locker room. He gently grabbed my sore wrist. I told him about the fight with Sandra, that I had run away. The conversation with the gym teacher. That Jerry made a fool of me in front of the whole class and then I lashed out at him. I drove with Jerry to the station and that I had had an argument with my father. Of course I didn't tell him the exact reason for my argument with Jerry and my father. How I had to walk back from the station to school and that I ran into Olaf with his drunken friends and had a ride from him on his motorcycle. I also immediately explained why Olaf had offered me that lift. Because he was thankful I didn't rat him out in detention when he almost attacked me in his rage. And how I came to walk in here hand in hand with Bas. I looked at my hands when I had finished telling. On one side I felt relieved, but on the other side also very vulnerable. Lucas hadn't interrupted me once. I could tell from his face and eyes how he felt. I saw his emotions change as the events that had happened this day.

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Julia, I want you to know that you can always call me if there's something wrong. I know you haven't known me very long, but I hate to see you so unhappy." He looked at our hands for a moment, he seemed to be uncomfortable as he showed his feelings.

I felt a lump forming in my throat, my eyes started to sting. It felt so good to hear these words from him, but also somewhat frightening. He was right, I also felt unhappy at the moment. I was ashamed of it, I felt so selfish about it. I just couldn't stand arguing with my father. We only have each other. The gossip circulating about me didn't help either. I knew I had to be above that, I could. But it still hurts me that people see you differently than you are.

Fortunately, Lucas now knew better. I knew we had nothing to do with each other. But the few moments I saw him felt good. From the first moment I saw him in the stairwell, I was attracted to him. He had such a warm look and voice, not to mention his handsome face. Still, I found it difficult to expose myself.