Tour Guide ➣ Carl Grimes

9. On The Run

So much had happened since Hannah's conversation with Rick and Carol. Some members of the new group had gone on a supply run, which ultimately ended in the death of two people. Hannah had never been fond of Aiden. He always intimidated the girl, ever since she arrived in Alexandria. He was tall and brooding, and always seemed to be angry. Though, when they first met, he was kind to Hannah. He showed her around Alexandria, and although she knew that was probably at his mother's request, it made Hannah like him. She thought maybe they could be close, friends even. But Aiden must have felt differently.

As she began to settle in, she noticed the quick touches and suggestive comments, the need to always be alone and close by. It all seemed like something so innocent. Hannah wanted to believe that this was his way of being welcoming, of being kind. She was too young to understand how wrong it was.

The one-sided relationship had never gone further than that, but Hannah still hated being around the man she once thought of as a friend. Even now, years later, she would always notice his eyes on her body, staring from far away.

When Hannah first learned about his death, she didn't know how to feel. There was a relief that she immediately buried and scolded herself for. You shouldn't be happy, she thought, no one deserves death. But as she thought about it, she began to understand her feelings more.

She realized she was happy, not because he had died, but because it meant there was no one to watch her. She no longer felt like prey.

Hannah hadn't known Noah very well yet, but she almost cried when she heard what happened to him. Whether it was the fact that they were so close in age or simply because of how she had observed him during his time in Alexandria, Hannah felt connected to the boy. He was so kind to those around him, so generous. Once, she had seen him holding the baby the new group had brought in, Judith. She was swaddled into his arms as if that was the most comfortable place she had ever been. And the two just sat there, rocking on a wooden bench that hung from Carl's front porch, for what seemed like hours. Hannah watched them for what felt like hours. She couldn't decide who she was more envious of, the baby or Noah.

Enid had been the one to tell her, having heard it from Glenn in passing. Neither girl really knew how to feel. They were both just beginning to get used to the new group, only to have one die so soon. They couldn't help but think, what does that mean for the rest of them?

---

When Enid told Hannah that she would be going for another run today, Hannah's first thought was about what Carl had said.

"Everyone here is weak. You guy's don't know how to survive, not in the real world."

She didn't want to be weak. She couldn't be. Not anymore.

This is what lead her to join Enid for the first time. When Hannah told her, hesitant with the fear that she might turn her down, Enid had taken the girl by surprise. Her face grew into a smile that wrinkled around her eyes, and said, "Well, then let's go."

The two had finally made it to the top of the fence, Hannah's feet dangling off the edge, banging softly as she stared down at Enid, who was watching her from below.

"Come on!" the girl yelled up, "Jump down!"

Hannah scooted herself to the very edge of the metal, still gripping her hands tightly onto the rusted surface. She wanted to jump, she really did. Enid had done it so many times before, and Hannah knew how much these runs meant to her. And yet she still held onto the ledge.

She was scared. She felt weak.

"Everyone here is weak"

The words filtered through her mind again. Why had Carl's words meant so much to her? Why did they carry so much weight? So what if she was afraid? at least she was alive.