Tour Guide ➣ Carl Grimes

35. Defiance

Carl wasn't quite sure how he had gotten here. The trip into the sanctuary was one big blur of gunfire and blood. He hadn't felt scared, not while he was shooting at every man he could see and not when he was pushed onto the ground. No, he wasn't scared until Negan brought him inside. 

Carl tried to keep his head high and unwavering as Negan simply gave his people a glance when they knelt in front him. Carl watched as they awaited his signal of permission. He had never seen that kind of power from someone. He had never seen that much blind commitment. Carl had never seen that much fear. As much as he hated to think it, Carl knew that not even his own father could command a room like that. In a way, he was fascinated, and it made his stomach twist.

Negan continued his 'tour' through the Sanctuary, bringing Carl to a room full of women. They were all wearing the same, skin-tight, black dresses and had their hair done up in different, intricate styles. At least, what Carl would deem intricate. 

"Ladies," Negan greeted excitedly, "Don't mind the kid."

"I know," Carl felt Negan's hot breath brush the skin of his ear as he whispered, "Every woman where you're from dresses like they do the books at an auto shop. You're gonna wanna look at their titties. I won't mind. They won't mind. Knock yourself out." Negan chuckled as Carl grimaced, turning his head away from the women. "Hey, kid, that Scarface ain't here," the name made Carl's breath hitch, "I won't tell if you don't." Negan gave him a wink before looking back out to his 'wives'.

One of the women, Carl noticed, was comforting another. The blonde one had tears on her cheeks, outlined by stains of smudged mascara. The other one, who seemed older, looked almost familiar to Carl. She had short, brown hair, pulled back into a bun, and wore the same dress as the other girls. And yet, something made her stand out to him. Something he couldn't quite understand. He watched as Negan beckoned the woman with the bun,leading her to a corner of the room so they could talk. Carl tried to listen in as they spoke, hearing them whispering about something heated, but he couldn't pick up more than parts of sentences.

When they finished, Negan came back to Carl's side, handing him the beer bottle he had just been drinking. Then, he made his way to the blonde girl who was still sitting on the couch, wringing her hands in her lap.

Negan bent down in front of her, "Amber, baby. You know I don't want anyone here who doesn't want to be here." Carl heard the girl let out a weak hum, "So if you want to leave, go back to Mark, you can. But what can't you do?"

The girl bit her lip slightly before hesitantly saying, "Cheat on you."

"That is exactly right!" his voice made the girl jump and Carl felt his lips form a tight line, "You...can't...cheat on me. There's plenty of other gals who would love to take your place. You want to go back to mark and your mom? Hell, I'll put you all on the same job."

"No!" the blonde girl let out, seeming almost surprised that she had spoken so loudly, "please."

"Well, you know what that means, right?"

Carl couldn't listen anymore. Not when this poor girl was being forced to tell Negan she loved him. Not when he could see the look of realization wash over her face, like she was finally realizing the situation she was in. Not when she looked so much like Hannah. That's what it was, Carl realized, that's why his fists were clenched at his sides and his jaw was tight. As Negan leaned in close to the girl, pressing his lips to her forehead, Carl couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't let go of the memory of him doing the same as Negan, letting his own lips press against Hannah's skin not more than two hours ago. He never wanted to see her as scared as this girl. he never wanted to see anyone like that. Carl couldn't stop thinking about all the things he would do for her. All the things he would risk.