Tour Guide ➣ Carl Grimes

10. Eavesdropping

"We're supposed to be out here," Enid said as the three leaned against a fallen tree. "We're supposed to feel like this."

Enid sat on the far right of the tree, with Carl between Hannah and her. It felt weird to be this close to him, Hannah thought. It was weird how she could feel him shift and move, she could feel him breathe. Could he feel her just the same? The thought made Hannah's breath stop.

"I don't want to forget," Enid continued, "And running makes me feel better." Hannah knew only some of what the girl had been through before coming to Alexandria, but she herself knew what it was like on the outside. She could feel Carl tense slightly as the memories of his own past came over him. He was an enigma, really, to Hannah. She could never understand what he was thinking, nor could she understand why she wanted to know.

"I can't forget. I dream about it. Being in the forest with them." Carl replied. The images of that field once again came over Hannah. That feeling of instability and fear, the feelings of loss and shame. Hannah knew just how horrible it was to dream about your past. She understood how it felt to have your mind create cruel and untrue versions of your own memories.

"I do too," was all Hannah could say. Enid kept her eyes low, but Carl turned his head to her. He seemed to be inspecting her, for what Hannah couldn't understand. But she could feel his soft eyes on her and the way his breathing slowed as they watched each other.

"Ron's a nice guy," Carl said randomly when he looked away, and Hannah didn't know how to respond. What did Ron have to do with anything?

"He is." Enid jumped in when the silence grew.

"Does he know you guys come out here?" Carl said to both girls.

"No, he-- he wouldn't understand," Enid said simply. Carl then looked directly at Hannah once again, as if to ask for her answer.

"Oh, well, I don't come out here often," Hannah started, "I just-- I wanted to see what it was like. To be outside again."

"Do you like it?" He asked.

Hannah thought for a moment. Did she? She had only decided to finally come out here to prove to herself she could. To prove it to him. But it was the running she truly enjoyed. Enid was right, running makes you feel better. It makes you feel strong.

"Yes."

Enid smiled at her from behind Carl.

"Why do I scare you?" Carl chuckled to Enid, referring to what she had said when the girls found him.

"I don't know," she smiled, "you just do." Carl laughed again, now looking to Hannah. He didn't speak for a moment, just looking at her like he did before. She wondered if she should answer as well. Of course, Carl had scared her at first, but now, did he still? Both of them opened their mouths, readying to start before the other when the group heard the eerie sound of roamers nearing them. Hannah gasped slightly as they all stood to find where the noise had come from. It was the same group of roamers as before, only now Hannah had no way of distracting them.

"We need to go," Enid said and began towards a large tree. She and Carl ran inside, hiding behind its walls. Hannah looked frantically for a spot she could go, knowing she couldn't fit into the tree with the others. Quickly, she ducked beneath a ledge of dirt, curling herself so she wouldn't be seen. Hannah could hear the roamers moving above her, their soft moans were all she could hear. Hannah shut her eyes tight, desperately trying to keep the memories out, the memories that haunt her at night. She feels her fists ball unconsciously, the sting of her uncut nails digging into the flesh of her palm. She would not think of her father. The moaning sounds grew louder, filling the crevices in her mind. She would not think of her mother. As her hunched position grew unstable, and the noise unbearable, a much kinder voice made its way through the fog.