The Trials of Loving Her

Sera Chapter 29

A few hours later when Sera arrived home, she waited for her husband to return from work while he passed on his way to the daycare to pick up their daughter. She grabbed a glass from her cupboard along with a bottle of red wine from her fridge. She began pouring herself a drink, filling it close to the tip of the mouth. She drank it down all at once, pouring another again. She sat next to the kitchen counter, running her hands through her hair as she bowed in silence. She thought about many things, most of which were about Jace. The more she thought of him, her pulse would quicken. “Who would be harder to live without?” she wondered, sipping on her third glass of wine. The answer was right there, itching to roll out of her tongue. The decision was another thing; it’s where her mind tried overruling her heart. She began staring at her wedding ring, noticing the stained blood upon her large diamond. She began crying as she stared at everything around her. This is the life she had worked so hard to build. It wasn’t a house. It was a home, but it didn’t feel like her home anymore.

   “Honey,” she heard Arthur’s voice as he came entering the front door.

   “I’m in the kitchen!” she shouted, wiping away her tears as quickly as she could.

   “Mummy, you wouldn’t believe what I did today,” Ava said running toward her. 

   “Let me guess,” Sera picked her up, giving her kisses upon both cheeks before putting her back down. “You made something really cool.”

   “Yeah, how’d you know?” she asked. “I made a dolly house in school today using paper and lots of glue. It was part of our assignment. I painted it and it looks just like our house.”

   “I bet it does,” Sera told her.

   “Can I go watch TV in my room?” Ava then asked.

   “Do you have school work?”

   “Only a little but I’ll do it after dinner, I promise.”

   “Okay, you can go.”

   “You won’t believe the day I’ve had,” her husband told her. “This woman came in with her appendix being ruptured, demanding that I be the one to operate on her. I had to call the hospital before she died.”

   “Why do we always talk about our work?” she asked him. “We never talk about other things. We never do anything.”

   “We talk about it because it’s what we do, we’re doctors,” he answered.

   “Well, I hate it,” she confessed. “We have little in common. Only our careers and Ava are keeping us together.”

   “Where is this all coming from?” he asked. “You’ve been acting different for a couple weeks now. Some days when I come home I find you drinking beers and eating godawful snacks. You never do that.”

   “I always did that,” she confessed. “I changed when I met you.”

   “You got healthier, you mean,” he added. “I’m not going to let you eat things that are bad for you.”

   “It’s not about what I eat. It’s about me settling for a life that is not mine. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t wanna live a life wishing I was with someone else.”

   “So you met someone else, is that it?” his voice rising higher than hers.

   “I didn’t meet someone else, he was there long before you and I ever knew each other. You remember Jason? you met him in the supermarket with Adaline.”

   “Yeah, what about him?” he asked.

   “He’s my husband. He was in a coma for eight years.”

   “You told me your husband’s name was Craig Sullivan. He died in an accident.”

   “I lied. I never wanted to talk about it.”

   “Who are you?” he wondered. “Where is the woman I married?”

   “She never existed,” Sera admitted. “My last name is Davis, my married name is Harrison. I told my family to lie to you and tell you they were all Harrison, so you wouldn’t force me to change my name.”

   “For years you had me call you by another man’s name and you didn’t tell me?” he shouted. He took the bottle of wine and tossed it against the wall. It smashed into pieces with wine stained everywhere. “You were right. Had I known the truth I would’ve made you change it.”

   “I want a divorce,” she said calmly crying. “I am sorry that I strung you along through the years,” she spoke louder. “Jace is my everything. He’s all I ever wanted. If I stay with you, I’ll make both of us miserable. If I let him go I’ll never forgive myself.”

   “So all this time I was just a substitute,” he whispered. His eyes began to flow with tears. “If you leave me, you’ll never see Ava again, I swear it by my life.”

   “Please don’t,” she begged as she rose from her seat. “She’s my daughter. I took her and raised her as my own.”

   “You can’t have both,” he told her. “Go be with the love of your life. You’ll be childless and he’ll hate you when he learns you cannot give him children. Don’t come back when he rejects you.”

   “Please don’t take her away from me,” she pleaded.

   “She’s my family, not yours,” he said staring into her eyes. “I’m gonna take her to get some ice cream. When I return please don’t be here. If you’ll excuse me; I’m gonna tell my little girl why you won’t be around anymore.”

   “What will you tell her?” Sera asked him.

   “I’ll make up a lie,” he replied. “I can’t tell a six year old that the woman she believes is her mom is abandoning her for some other man.” He wiped his tears upon his sleeves; then he walked away. Sera broke down crying as she watched him go up the stairs to grab their daughter, bringing her back down, then out the door.

   “Ava, I’m sorry,” she cried out as she fell to the floor in the hall. “I’m sorry.”