the day before you came - severus snape x reader

Chapter 33 - Kisses Of Fire

You begin to think it's possible that life could be more than a short, little tragedy and then you die – well, the death part probably being inevitable, but the time in between does no longer seem like a continuous, dreary nightmare to you.

After the initial barrage of emotions, information and lessons that kept you on your toes for the first few weeks – things that surpassed your sad, simple life before Hogwarts by far – this new feeling of commitment is much more profound; old curiosity turns into deeper connections, and what you currently experience goes much further than the secrets of the castle and studying the nature of a Grindylow.

You find that your friendship with Remus demands nothing from you, yet it's prompting a selfless eagerness to give you didn't really feel in platonic relationships before, and the grey veil of indifference lifts like fog the longer you're at the castle – as if by magic, you could say, if you were feeling particularly witty. The dry sigh you'd most certainly get in return from your Potion's Professor (lover? Boyfriend?) might almost make you want to stoop to your canine friend's level of humour, mind you.

Alas, you are an indulgent soul and wouldn't want to torture Severus even more with increased exposure to Remus' jokes – the latter would agree he's certainly punished enough with having to entertain you, for now at least.

So, in this case, it's fulfilling enough to mingle with Remus instead, granting Severus a few undisturbed office hours to catalogue, organize and pack up ingredients, making his little quarter vacation-ready – when he told you he'd leave Hogwarts after Christmas, you were not delighted per se, but you offered your help with tidying up the storage room anyway.

Snape, however, decided to grant you and your friends time off your leash, and you sulked for an afternoon or two at his condescension, but truth is, you weren't exactly eager to dust questionable pickled animal bits anyway.

You would have loved, however, to snoop around his private belongings and what he would deem important enough to take home with him.

At the very least, you convinced him to tie a tiny sprig of mistletoe you nicked from Flitwick's infinite supply of Christmas decoration to his bedpost, making his bedroom a touch more festive and homier – a help he did not appreciate at all, but some sacrifices just had to be made, you coaxed.

Well, you threw in a sugary promise too to make his office very toasty with all kinds of burned parchments if not.

The cold nights you spend alone in your dorm are unusually peaceful, and the incredible amount of time you have to spare now, although not always particularly welcomed, is filled with cosy coffee dates and strolls over the snowy grounds of Hogwarts and through the friendlier corners of the Forbidden Forest.

Remus accompanies you most of the time. These are quiet walks where both of you are lost in your own thoughts, the biting cold comforting his growing anxiety – the full moon is approaching mercilessly, and the more often the silvery light trickles through the clouds, the more fractured his careless nature becomes and you can't help the sympathetic squeeze of your heart whenever you steal a glance at his worried face.

You've gotten quite skilled at brewing Wolfsbane by now and albeit it's no secret that the Potions Master's sympathy for your pet remains miniscule, he lets you exhaust the depths of the storage room (and his wallet) to a borderline audacious extent.

The jars you leave empty and cauldrons you forget to clean are filled and neatly stacked away the next time you show up for detention, and you can't shake off the feeling that under all these dark, scruffy layers of grim and gruff mumbles about unreliable, useless school fonds, he's beaming with pride.