FLOWER ARE BETTER WHEN THEY'RE FAKE (COMPLETED)

Chapter 21

I have been running around so much it was making my head spin. The farthest I have traveled is Katy, which is about an hour away from where I live and guess what it was for? Shoes! Freaking shoes! That was a total waste of my time. We had a bunch of other things to do to add to that.

So, with a week left till the wedding we started preparing the house. We started with the backyard since that is where most of the ceremony is taking place. Besides Joshua we all are really allergic to grass, especially Victor apparently. What is really funny about the whole situation is that he is the only one who doesn't live in a house, ergo he doesn't have his own lawn, ergo he never really had to use a lawn mower. After about 15 minutes of playing with it, and almost chopping off his hand, we all toughened up, wore a bunch of personal protection equipment, and went outside to help.

With 6 days left we cleaned the rest of the house. So that meant that we had to basically move all the furniture around and dust, broom, vacuum, and mop everywhere. The living room was especially the toughest because there was a lot of stuff to move from there. We also cleaned out the fridge, because there will be some food that will end up there, and the cars. Let me say that the house has never been cleaner, and we have never been dirtier.

With 5 days left we started to do the fun parts! After a good shower, a bunch of Benadryl taken, and a morning's rest we were up and at it again. The tents and lights came at 2, the chairs came at 3, all the floral arrangements came at 4, the sound equipment came at 6 and the tables were right behind at 6:30. The sun was beating down on us really bad. We finished at least 4 cases of water and 8 bags of ice between all the workers and us. That's Texas heat for you. And might I add that we are about to wrap up January. Global warming is no joke now.

We picked up the clothes 4 days before the wedding. It was the only time I remember being excited for clothes. They were so beautiful and perfect and lovely and all the good adjectives from that 3rd grade textbook that I have no care for except right now. We all are matching in some sort of way, but each fit is so drastically different from the person next to us. I am not going to spoil anything, but we are all going to look bomb.

If anyone ever asked me advice for life, I would say this: Never wax, thread, cut, shave, or try out any new products the night before a big event. Give your skin time to heal so that you don't look horrendous in the pictures. That's why I am sitting here in the salon, 3 days before the wedding, screaming silently as the lady is waxing my arms. I don't know if I like bleeding or being mildly burned more.

2 days before the wedding was a disaster and a cool story to tell my kids. I forgot that if you are doing elaborate nails, you should have the courtesy of showing up early, especially if you are a walk-in. I am pretty sure I was cussed and cursed at for the rest of my life. Dani was by my side - the boys were in the barber shop next door- and by the looks of it ready to be in jail as well. Best friends- what do we do with ''em!

The day before the wedding I was immobile, handicapped, and exhausted. Not to mention humiliated. I had to put out those gift bags the other day, you know which ones, and all the old jokes re-sparked. I would have killed everyone but then all this hard work would go to waste.

At night it was really fun. We had dinner together and played some games, eventually ended up at a Walmart for 40 minutes, then watched a movie to finish off the night. Dad and Victor were doing their ridiculous flirting all the while, even took it to a different aisle in Walmart, and were just hanging onto each other. But this time when we were acting like a bunch of 5 year olds they took it to the room. I guess they needed to really talk.

But that doesn't mean we are still a bunch of 5 year olds.

"It's midnight!"

"Get out!"