Bittersweet Dreams (Sequel to Nightmares)

Chaos

I'm back babies! I have a very close friend with Brain Cancer, so I've been losing my mind lately. But if any of you are Doctor Who fans, and you've seen the Van Gogh episode, you know that the best thing to do is turn your pain into beauty! <3 Love you guys!

~~~~~AnimeAndDavidTennant~~~~~~

I gripped and pulled at the hand restraints that bound me. At times like this, I wish I was like Shizuo, with his never-ending monstrous strength. I screamed and thrashed, trying to get off this hospital gurney. This was barbaric. I felt imprisoned. I just wanted Shizuo here to take all the pain away.

As I continued to scream and thrash, the ignorant doctor that had pushed my gurney all this way, called his makeshift nurse over. She came close to me, a syringe filled with clear liquid.

"This'll make you nice and calm Izaya, so don't struggle," She whispered, venom practically dripping from her lips.

I screamed as loud as I could, as she pushed the sedative liquid into my veins. I felt it start working immediately, as my vision blurred and a hot rush shot through my entire body. I could barely get the words out, but with all energy I had left, I looked into the betraying doctors eyes, and slurred,

"Fuck you Shinra,"

-2 Hours Earlier-

"Times Up,"

I grabbed my head, and let the tears leak down my face. This was happening all over again. I could feel the cold tinge on my bare shoulders. I could see the rain pouring out the window. I could feel it as it soaked me thoroughly. I could feel his strong arms as he tenderly embraced me the first time. Finally, I could feel the tinge of panic as he offered to leave me alone at my apartment, broken and abused. The day it all started.

I grabbed fist-fulls of the white shirt he always slept in, and looked up into his sweet honey eyes, wondering how could a pitiful asshole like me could deserve someone like him. I leaned in and let Shizuo meet me half way in a needy wanting kiss. I couldn't lose him now. No, not after 2 years of peace.

As soon as our lips touched, I wanted to feel like everything was getting better, but it wasn't. The voice in my head kept echoing venomous words of hate and malice.

"Oh come on Izaya, if that even is you anymore. You can't keep this facade up any longer. You're a God. You don't need anybody else. You have me, ne?"

I pushed away from Shizuo and stood in the middle of the room screaming for this voice to leave my head. Shizuo attempted to approach me, but I pushed him away. For the first time in two years, I pushed him away, and as soon as I did, I regretted it. The confusion and hurt in his eyes tore me apart piece by piece, worse than the voice even had.

I stood there, tears soaking my pale features, as I looked to Shizuo for guidance. My eyes pleaded for help, and that's exactly what he gave me. He engulfed me in his warm embrace. I smiled, thinking that maybe if I stayed like this forever, the voice would be able to reach me.

Though I was naive to think such a thing could happen. As soon as I tried to get my heart rate down, a pain emerged from deep within my head unlike anything I had ever felt. It rocked through my senses making all of my muscles tense. The pain was so vicious my vision blurred, causing my body to wobble, unable to hold the weight of my shocked nerves. Shizuo gasped as he held all 128 lbs of my being as I sank into oblivion.

>>Fast Forward>>

I felt like cooked pasta. Whatever Namie had shot me up with, had completely numbed me. I looked around the hospital room I was in, and noticed how much different it was compared to last time. Until I realized, I wasn't awake. The room looked decrepit. Water stained and rusted, it looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

My eyes filled with tears as I realized that this could be a repeat of that dream. It had plagued me for so long, and now it was finally back to haunt me.

I decided that it was better to move around, then to stay in one place. As I maneuvered around abandoned gurneys and parts of the ground that had started to fall apart, I finally found what I was looking for. There he was. With his smug fucking smirk, using a face that was not his. His crimson eyes pierced my auburn ones as he finally looked my way.

"Took you long enough, ne?" He walked toward me and bowed in front of me taking my hand in his, "Come now my defiant prince, and I can show you what you're missing,"

At first I was adamant about following him, until I realized he must have meant he would show me whatever was going on with Shizuo, and how I got to Shinra in the first place.

He skipped like a merry little kid the whole way, until we came up to what looked like the only window in this entire decrepit hospital. He motioned his arms for me to look through it, but I just couldn't. Something felt wrong. I felt like as soon as I looked through that window, there was no going back.

He looked at me with impatient eyes, "Izaya, I'm only trying to help you. You see, if anything happens to you, you know what happens to me? I go poof! I need to make sure you pull through this!"

His words sounded panicked and I wasn't sure if he was making any sense. Pull through this? What did he mean by that? He grabbed my arms almost shoving me out the window. I looked down and understood what he meant. 6 nurses had Shizuo restrained as tears streamed down his face. I lay there surrounded by panicking doctors as they frantically rubbed the defibrillator pads together, trying to start my stalled heart. I was confused. Was I . . . dead?

I looked him in the eyes and asked him my insinuations, "Am I dead? What's happening?"

He nodded his head yes, and then shook it no, shrugging his shoulders, "I wouldn't necessarily say you're dead, but your heart has stopped. You're having some sort of coronary problem. If you don't have the will to restart you're heart, you'll die. I mean if this isn't already counted as death,"

I stood there shocked. The will to restart it? How the fuck would I do that? I took a look back over my shoulder out the window, realizing the answer was staring me straight in my stupid face. Shizuo stood there and cried and cried reaching toward me through the swarm of doctors. Shinra had sunk to his knees, tear apparent in his eyes. Namie was stood in the corner too shocked for words.

I sank to the floor and closed my eyes. 'Come on heart, you can do this. For Shizuo. Stay pumping. Please, come on. . '

I looked up at him and he just shook his head. Whatever mental pleading I was doing, wasn't changing a damn thing.

He sighed impatiently and sat in the only functioning chair in the vicinity. "You know at this point, I'm not even worried about you. I'm worried about that Shizu-chan of yours. Leaving him alone in the big bad world alone, free of the man hes hated the most, but also the only man he's ever loved. His husband! Oh so sad. You're letting him down, ne?"

I stood up and slapped him across the face. How could he even dare?! I would never do such a thing to my Shizuo. He's all I had ever wanted, and the ring on my finger proved it. 'Till death do us part. Forever.

I could feel the tears being to build in my eyes once again. I stomped my foot on the ground as hard as I could, and slammed my hands down on the window pane, letting my head outside the window into the bitter air. I yelled to Shizuo at the top of my lungs, "I'M NOT LEAVING YOU. NOT EVER. DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP ON ME YET SHIZUO HEIWAJIMA. I'M STILL THE SAME STUBBORN ASSHOLE YOU MARRIED ALMOST A YEAR AGO!"

As soon as I yelled that, I felt a fluttery feeling in my chest. It was almost like butterflies, but it felt more like the nervous tinge you get in your chest before presenting a paper in high school. I felt like I was floating, and I didn't know what was happening.

As I stood there dazed and confused, he gave me and thumbs up and his evil little smirk, telling me that even though he helped me now, he would be back to hurt me later.

Soon, I could hear the faint beeping of my heart meter, as I restarted my heart for Shizuo.