A Lifetime Later: A Heartstopper AU Fanfic

Chapter Eleven: Note

The sky looked like it might open at any moment, but Nick was unfazed. He strode purposefully along the pavement, nervous as hell, but knowing that if he slowed down he might lose his resolve. He hadn't slept much last night, and his body was tired. It reminded him of the time before he joined veterans league, when he had played an intense afternoon rugby tournament in the rain, then went home and slept for 30 minutes before heading to the hospital to work a 16-hour shift. Then again, that had just been physical exhaustion. This was an emotional ache, deep in his bones, and he didn't know whether what he was about to do was going to ease it, or not.

He turned the corner, recognizing the row of Victorian buildings, seeking out #20 and entering the narrow lobby. Nick's heart hammered faster as he climbed the stairs to the first floor. But when he reached Charlie's door, it was locked. There was a handwritten note taped to the wood paneling.

Office closed at 12 o'clock today.
Apologies for any inconvenience.
CS

Nick's forehead made a thump as it fell onto the door. It was 2:45; he had hoped to catch Charlie at the end of his appointments, like he had weeks before. What now? He looked down at the envelope he clutched in his hand. For a moment, he considered sliding it under the door. But, no. He didn't want Charlie to read it without the context of his presence. Feeling defeated, he turned around and descended to the lobby and the brisk, wet spring air.

He was too tired to walk all the way back to his flat, and he had left his phone at home. So he did things the old-fashioned way, standing on the curb with his arm up until he was able to flag down a taxi. He squeezed his large frame through the door, gave the driver his address, and leaned back to gaze out the window.

He didn't know where Charlie lived now. Before last night, they had only ever met at the dog park. Should he message him when he got home? Or call? Nick had really wanted to talk in person. He could try again tomorrow, but tomorrow seemed painfully far away.

Nick sighed, watching the familiar blocks of row houses pass by his window. The streets were nearly deserted. It was the middle of the workday, Nick knew. Not everyone had the strange schedule he did, working a greater number of hours per day in exchange for having more days off per week. Spending those free afternoons with Edwin and Charlie was a new routine he had quickly been getting used to. He couldn't recall how he used to fill his time, before Charlie came back into his life.

The taxi crested a small hill, and Nick spotted a single pedestrian walking along the road. As the car sped nearer, his heart flip-flopped. Charlie.

"Please, stop the car!," he yelled, reaching through the plexiglass window in front of him to frantically tap the driver's shoulder.

"Oi!," cried the driver, waving Nick's hand away. "Gimme a minute, mate," he muttered with annoyance as he steered the car to the side of the road. This was no time for exact change; Nick hastily handed the driver all of the notes in his wallet and threw open the door, nearly tripping over himself onto the road. "Charlie!," he yelled, but he was too far behind now.

He took off in a sprint, gripping his wallet in one hand and the envelope in his other. By the time he caught up to Charlie, his chest was was heaving. He placed a single hand on Charlie's shoulder, bending to catch his breath.

"Nick!," Charlie cried, wheeling around. "Cripes, I thought I was about to get mugged!"

Panting, Nick imagined how he must have come across, all quick footsteps and heavy breathing behind Charlie. Charlie's shock quickly turned to amusement, and soon they were grinning at each other.

"You weren't at your office," Nick said, still bent at the waist and somewhat breathless.

"You weren't at home," Charlie responded. Nick suddenly realized why he had caught him on this side of town.

Nick stood up and they locked eyes.

"I'm so sorry - " started Nick.

"No. I should be the one saying sorry," interrupted Charlie. "It was ridiculous of me to come to you last night. As if you wanted to hear all about the trials of my love life. That was never my intention, by the way. I didn't come just to brag about Thomas."

"Of course you didn't!," exclaimed Nick. "I was an idiot to assume that's why you came. I should have been a better listener. And... I never should have brought up the past like that. The way I talked about our breakup — I should have been apologizing to you, not acting like you... set me up, or something."

The two men shared a silent moment, each lost in memory.

"I wish you had called... back then," Charlie said quietly.

"Me too," said Nick.

"I just... I wanted to give you the out... if you had wanted it."

A beat.

"I didn't want an out," said Nick simply. "I've never wanted an out."

He took a deep breath and handed Charlie the envelope. "I realized what I should have said last night."

Their fingers touched briefly; Charlie felt a shudder run down his spine. He lifted the flap and removed a sheet of white paper, unfolding it to reveal just two words.

Don't go.

A single drop of water landed on the note, and then another, smearing Nick's curly penmanship. Charlie looked up as a soft rain began to fall around them.

Nick's eyes met his, glistening. "I still love you, Charlie. I know it's not fair of me to say this, I know you're with someone else, but... I just wanted you to know."

Charlie felt his breath catch in his throat. "I broke up with Thomas," he said.

Their embrace was instant, each clutching the other as if for dear life. Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and nuzzled his head into his neck. Nick held tight to Charlie's shoulders, his nose buried in Charlie's damp curls, letting surprise and gratitude and sweet relief wash over him as the rain around them fell harder. Neither knew how long they stayed that way; but when they finally pulled away and locked eyes, they were both drenched.

"God, Char, I missed you," breathed Nick, his voice breaking.

Charlie lifted one hand to brush Nick's soaked hair off his face and smiled. "I've missed you too. More than I knew."

Their foreheads touched now, each breathing in the scent of the other mixed with fresh rain on the pavement. Now Nick's fingers were in Charlie's hair, the heels of his hands lifting Charlie's chin toward his. Their lips met, and the rest of the world melted away.