The Beginning of the End (Newtmas)

Chapter 9

So I was listening to Ed Sheeran and I basically have decided that every single song spells out Newtmas. Anyway I should start adding songs to chapters, cause music is always nice. And I reallyyyyyyy wanna make a Newtmas One Shot book thing. Idk if I should though. Oh, and explaining Newtmas to my Mum is like an impossible task. The damn gif thing of them (almost) kissing she just blames on the camera angle. SERIOUSLY? That has nothing to do with the camera angle when they lean in. Case closed. They are gay. And I should go back to dedicating chapters. And I need to figure out how gifs save on a macbook cause I wanna make a Newtmas video but it won't let me cause ugh.

Newt shuffled around quite a bit as he awoke the next morning, only to come to a sudden halt when he noticed that something was beside him. He freaked for a second, but then he realized that it was only Thomas, and his heart rate went down to a steadier pace, only to speed up again when he came to the full realization that Thomas was right beside him.

He still had his arms firmly wrapped around Newt, his body pressed against the smaller's back, and Newt could feel Thomas' steady breathing by the way his body moved against his own. They were close, very close. But Newt still felt like there was too much of a distance between them. He knew that they were close together, and they couldn't get any closer than this, but Newt felt like there was a big gap between them anyway, and he had the urge to shut the distance. But he couldn't, because there was no distance. No matter how much Newt thought that there was.

Newt turned around, careful not to wake the other, and his breathing seemed to stop completely as he inhaled a sharp breath of air when he came to face the beautiful boy in front of him. He'd never thought of it much before, but Thomas really was something to look at.

The way his eyes were closed shut and his mouth was slightly ajar. His lips that were clearly dry from the drop in temperature outside, but still so beautiful and tinted in a pinkish color. They were perfectly shaped. Newt found himself tracing Thomas' jawline, letting his fingers just slightly touch the others skin like a feather. He stopped when he came to the others lips, and he let out another gasp when he suddenly received the urge to lean in. But Newt couldn't do that. Thomas was asleep. It wouldn't be fair. Newt only wanted to place his lips on the others and claim them as his if Thomas was fully aware of it happening. So, he let his thumb linger longer on the others lip than he had intended, and he hadn't realized that a curious set of brown eyes were staring back at him until the lips he was so invested in, turned upwards into a smile.

Newt glanced back up, only to be met with Thomas' eyes that were now fully awake. And he quickly retrieved his hand and tried to look away, but then he realized Thomas was still shirtless and he found himself looking at his bare chest a little longer than intended. Thomas chuckled.

"What are you doing?" Newt bit his lip. He didn't know what he was doing. He clearly wasn't thinking of anything anymore, throwing every sort of worry out the window and just going for it, only to have everything come back to him again and replace his confidence with insecurities. If he were to have it his way, he'd be kissing Thomas right now and forgetting everything else. But he couldn't have it his way because he was afraid. He was afraid of taking that step between the line of friendship and relationship. Newt didn't want to try anything out that he was sure would end badly. And Thomas and Newt were almost destined to crash and burn if he let anything go anywhere.

"I-I don't know. Sorry." Thomas smiled, a real smile, and Newt really wished that he could mirror it.

"Why? I like this." And Newt would've said something if he could've, but his voice seemed to entirely disappear when Thomas tightened his grip that he had around Newt's waist, pulling him closer and leaning their foreheads against one another. His eyes were closed, and Newt wished it would've stayed that way. Because as soon as Thomas opened his shimmering brown eyes, Newt felt like something invisible and heavy was pushing down on his heart. He could barely breathe as he was looking back at Thomas, but he couldn't look away either. He was so drawn in that looking away was an impossible task that was set out to fail for him.