Hansel and Gretel: First Impressions

Chapter 1: Hansel

Twas a cold and dark night...

Hansel, we're not from the 16th century!

Oh well, I am going to do it anyway; T'was a cold, dark night. Gretel and I were coming back from, ah, the dentist, yeah the dentist, that sounds good. We must have swallowed a bit too much of that mouth wash they kept giving us; there's alcohol in that ya know.

Anyway we made it safely back to Grandpa Henry's (thanks to my superior driving skills). Unfortunately, he wasn't exactly happy to see us.

Psh, "not happy" is an understatement.

He was a pretty temperamental old guy, and after I met him, I finally found out who Gretel took after.

Hansel!

Anyway, in our drunken states, we were somewhat easy to take advantage of. Grandpa Henry told us it was going to be a nature walk, just a nature walk. Fortunately, Gretel and I had saved our floss from the dentist and were at least smart enough to make a floss trail back to the house.

We had gotten to a clearing, and Grandpa Henry came to a stop, "You two look tired," he said in a strangely caring voice, "how about y'all rest in this clearing for a bit while I go home, um, I mean, get some good firewood."

Unfortunately, we were gullible enough to fall for that old geezer's tricks, I swear I heard him dancing home singing, "I let them go, I let them go, now I won't have to put up with crying." Looking back on it, he always was a bit strange.

I couldn't help but doze off to sleep, listening to the constant rhythm of Gretel's snoring; Uh zzzzzz, Uh zzzz, Uh zzzzz.....

Hey! I do NOT snore!