When I finally got Hansel on his feet, we realized we were in front of a warm fire. The flames were housed inside of a large, old-style oven. I'd heard Hansel mumbling about it in his sleep earlier, so I supposed he'd seen it before he'd blacked out. I grabbed my backpack off of my back, thanking myself that I never went anywhere without it. Inside, I grabbed the small plastic bag of cookies I kept just for this situation. But as I went to grab one, I took in the atmosphere. We were inside what seemed to be... an enlarged gingerbread house... But, I didn't take any chances. I had to get Hansel up and out of his trance so we could make our escape from this strange place we'd stumbled into.
After my brother had eaten his cookie(very messily, might I add.), I dragged his crumb-infested body out of the house. I sat him at the trunk of a nearby tree and examined our surroundings as he came-to.
All around us were trees glazed with white, gooey frosting. The apples hanging from the branches were covered in caramel and rainbow sprinkles. I face palmed as I realized where we must be; The West Forest! This was the forest of sugar highs and heart attacks. The forest of obesity and diabetes. The Candy Forest.
I had heard of Candora, the Candy Witch that lived in the West Forest, but I'd never actually met her, and I didn't look forward to it. But, I took into account that Hansel was tired and hungry and being the caring older sister I am I decided against my best judgement to bring him into the gingerbread house.
So after dragging Hansel into the candy cottage(lose some weight, kid!), I set him down at a spiral mint table and sat down myself, examining the architecture of such a strange building. Hansel finally came to and looked around, as well. The expression on his face made me giggle, and we heard a door open behind us. Snapping to turn and see who-or what- had caused the movement, we saw him. Candor the Candy Witch, standing before us in all of his disgusting, transgendernity. I heard Hansel gulp, and I grabbed his hand under the table. Squeezing, I sent him a look that said 'Stay calm' and turned back to Candor.
"What are you two children doing here?!" He squawked, slamming his foot onto the hard, candy floor. I shook, and it was Hansel who answered the old witch's question; "We were just lost, ma'am." "I am not a woman anymore, boy! I am Candor, the Candy Witch of the-" "Yeah yeah, we know the spherical. You're gonna take over all of the forests, and the Kingdom, and you expect us to just stand by and let you do that because we're just children and we can't stop you." Candor nodded slowly, confused. "Well I got news for you, Witch," I stood and pulled Hansel up after me. He stumbled on his feet, but caught himself on the sticky, delicious table and stood upright next to me. "We aren't kids anymore!" I threw a solid punch into Candor's jaw and he stumbled backward to knock against the wall
I turned to Hansel. "Grab all the food you can, I'll buy us some time." My brother nodded obediently and pulled my backpack from my grasp. He ran into the depths of the house as I threw a kick to the witch. Candor was able to reset his footing and punched me in the eye. Hard. As I felt the bruise appearing, I saw that Candor was just watching the black ring appear. He was distracted! I delivered a strong kick to his groin and thanked the transgender gods, then watched Hansel run into the room with the backpack stuffed with delicious food. I grabbed his arm and dragged him after me as I rushed him out the gingerbread door.
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The sun set on the horizon when Hansel and I finally made it out of the West Forest and into the Kingdom. As tired as we were, we couldn't stop at Grandpa's; that was for sure. I knew we'd need to keep walking to find a safe place to stay.
Then, all at once, a house appeared in front of us. Covered in pink upholstery and curtains, I figured staying here would be a huge mistake, but Hansel wouldn't budge from his new post at the window. Confused, I shoved him over and looked inside. I gasped. Inside, was the Royal Witch of the Kingdom; Kiki. She was known as the Good Witch of the Land, and everyone loved her. She had an obsession for happy things, and had a large amount of gerbils, rabbits, and other small animals. I looked to my love-struck brother... who was watching from another window as she bathed a small bunny. She tied a small, black bow around the neck of the rodent and set it down. It ran off immediately and she smiled at her work.
I laughed and went to knock on the door, but Hansel stopped me. "We can't just barge in and ask to stay with her! We don't even know her!" "Hansel, stop being such a killjoy. You like her and you know it, now let's go get some rest." He reluctantly stepped back and fixed his hair as I pressed the perfectly shined doorbell.
"Come in! It's unlocked!" Kiki called from another room. I shot Hansel a look that said 'Told ya so,' as I opened the door to a perfectly clean front hall. I gaped as I walked slowly at the beautiful house. My brother looked around, my expression copied onto his face. Then, I was about to look into the living room when Kiki appeared right in front of me!
"Hi! I'm Kiki, the Good Witch of the Royal Kingdom. Nice to meet you!" She stuck out her hand, finger polish revealing 'DANCE' written on her nails. I smiled, shaking her hand. I looked up at her and saw her gaze drifted behind me. Confused, I turned and saw her eyes resting on my brother. I laughed, the irony finally reaching it's peak in my mind. "Well, I'm Gretel," She turned her attention back to me, but never let Hansel out of her sight. "And that's my twin brother, Hansel." She nodded, smiling. "And have you come for something? A brew? Spell? A girlfriend for your brother?" She joked, and I responded with a laugh of my own. "No, we've just been walking a lot and need a place to stay. You were the first house we saw, so..." "Oh, no problem, Gretel! Nice to meet you, by the way. I happen to have a guest room just down this hallway. Are you two hungry?" Hansel nodded as fast as his muscles would allow, and I laughed. "Yes, starved." "Well I'll show you to your room and then start on dinner. I bet you are exhausted!" I nodded and followed her down the hallway, pulling my brother behind me.
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"So where are you coming from?" Kiki asked as she stirred an amazing-smelling broth. "The West Forest," I answered, closing the door on the room Hansel was now fast asleep in. "Wow! No wonder you're so tired! I hope you didn't run into-" "We did," I interrupted, knowing she must be talking of Candor. "How ever did you make it all the way here with him on your trail?! He's quite the tracker, you know." "I took care of him," I spoke, finding a sense of pride at my quick exit from the grasp of the Candy Witch. "Hansel got some food from his place, too. It's in our backpack, and I'd gladly give it to you."
"Oh, thank you! But I never run low on nutrients with the job I'm in!" I gained a confused look on my face; wondering what job they could give a good witch like Kiki. "I work at the castle; I'm the Royal Witch. I make brews and perform spells to entertain the King and his son." I stopped. "Wait, the King has a son...?" "Yes," The Good Witch answered sweetly. "He's very handsome, but not exactly my type. I like more perfect hair... green eyes..." I gave her an annoyed look as she drifted off into space. I laughed and shook her. "I could totally set you guys up, but first you have to tell me more about the King's handsome son!" She nodded. "Yes, yes, right, the Prince of the Kingdom. His name is Prince Benji, and he's King Randy's son from his last wife who died just recently. Very tragic... Anyway, his father is looking to betroth him to a lady living in our land. The betrothal is tomorrow, so I have to be there pretty early, and-" "Wait, betrothal?" She nodded again. "King Randy is very sick, and if he dies, he needs his son to be ready to marry so he can rule the Kingdom!" "Sick? With what? A cold?" She shook her head. "No, much worse. Even my magic cannot cure it! He was struck by Candor, the Candy Witch of the West Forest during a battle for land inside of the Kingdom." I nodded, understanding. I couldn't just let the Prince be unfairly married, however, so I begged Kiki to take Hansel and I with her the next morning to go see the Royal Family. I was scared out of my wits and had no plan in mind, but I knew that no matter what, justice had to be brought back to the Land; starting with Prince Benji.
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Hansel and Gretel: First Impressions
AventureA retelling of Hansel and Gretel; the way it REALLY happened!
