Drip Drop The RainMan

Self-Hatred

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains Suicide and Death of Loss Please be noted you can skip if you want.

It was another rainy day as Murren kept wandering in the Malibu forest getting soaked he was insulting himself and mocked about his death he was going to end his miserable life once and for all and this time there are no more chances he didn't know why sonic cares about him so much He never cared about himself not even once he still remembered back when he was still a mobian and that he was a murse working at a hospital tirelessly having a goal to fulfill in becoming a Doctor and by the time he did it only got worse he saved most people but he couldn't save some and he hated it when he couldn't do it properly people needed his help but he couldn't save them and he Blamed himself for that he Hated himself So much He never lets anyone help him it was his Problem and he should be the one taking care of it He always hid the truth and kept it to himself he was getting tired of his second chance of life it he didn't want to be given a chance to live again even if it was to sustain balance on the globe and to help shower the plants with rain but he eventually gave up on that he already decided when or where he was gonna die He can never forget that day he Killed himself by falling off the bridge and letting himself drown it was so easy to keep pretending to be nice to hide the pain he was still suffering from that all happened on a Very FATEFUL DAY he felt like a curse he had been hurting for so long and had been dying all along he knew sonic and tails were worried about him but he can't get them involved He scared everyone in the hospital when he was Ticked off and declared that he wasn't going to be working and quitting his job for a while and that he didn't care anymore he was still grieving he tried to be cheerful but the Loss was much greater and that he didn't want anyone to get hurt

Murren: I AM NOTHING.......
I'M NOTHING.......
I'M NOTHING.......
I HATE MYSELF!!!!
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!
I'M SO PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!
I'M SO RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I COULDN'T SAVE THEM!!!!
I PRACTICALLY KILLED THEM!!!!
THAT'S NOT WHAT A DOCTOR DOES!!!!
AND HE DIED BECAUSE OF ME!!!!!
WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE?!?!?!
I KILLED MYSELF SO THAT I WON'T HURT ANYONE ANYMORE!!!
AND YET I STILL GOT ANOTHER CHANCE TO LIVE????
I NEVER WANTED THAT!!!!
WHY WASTE SUCH AN OPPORTUNITY ON ME?!?!?!

murren shouted as tears dripped down and laughed bitterly

Murren: It was SO simple back then but now it's just Pointless
I Just MISS Him........

[FLASHBACK]

it was another successful day at the hospital as murren was discharging a excited patient ready to finally get out

Murren: Be careful, next time okay?

Patient 1: thank you, Doctor!

Murren: Your welcome.

then murren escorted the patient out of the hospital and waved goodbye until he got called by the staff at the hospital in panic
which made Murren uncomfortable they told him that there was an aggressive patient in the hospital that beat up a staff member but they can't actually send Him away that's not what a doctor does so murren volunteered to tend to the patient on his own which the staff thought was a bad idea but they knew he was right and showed him the room where the patient was

Staff 1: good luck, in there

Murren: I know.

Staff 2: He surely is Unstable.

Murren: Alright.

murren said before he went in to meet the patient and it was a Male Porcupine with Sharp Serrating mauve Quills he had a black eye his eyes were Violaceous and he wore a suit and a Shredded jacket and his shoes were shrouded and his gloves were Densed
When The man looked at murren he had a Disdainful stare which made murren shook and stuttered