All grown up

Process

"I'll miss you guys." I say while hugging the girls. School is over and im leaving for Greece in three days. I haven't spoken to Brodie since he found out, which is like one week ago. I ignored his calls and his attempts to talk to me in school.
"I hope you don't crash." London jokes and I pinch her.

We all separate and I carpool with my brother.
"You know you can't ignore him the whole holidays." He says. Halen knows about my issue. He always did. I was the reason why we moved to Texas. I got bullied and attempted to starve myself to death. I had to visit a psychologist and she let me go. And now we are here. Guess I'm not that healed.
"I'm willing to try." I answer and look outside the window.

"It's not fair though. He was trying to help you and you push him away. I agree with him. Your body is perfect the way it is. You don't need to loose some pounds." He says.
"Thank you, but I just can't." I give him a half smile.
"Well. It's your decision. I love you, no matter what happens." He says and starts the car.

***

I'm in my room, watching Netflix, when I hear another car pull up in our driveway. Brodie's jeep. Uh. Oh.
He steps out and soon his mother and sister follow. They make their way to our front door and I panic.
"Honey, come down. We need to talk about something." My mom knocks on my door. I frown and go downstairs.

I hug everybody shortly and say hi.
"Okay, so we are here to tell you about our little vacation change." Sheila starts and looks at my mother who continues.
"Instead of going to Greece, where we always are, we are going to Paris." She says and my eyes widen. The city of love. My mom looks between me and Brodie and winks at me. Oh.my.god. I roll my eyes and look down.

"Well that's a surprise." My brother says.
"But a good one, though." He adds and gives my mom a kiss on the cheek.
"Yeah. What do you think Skylar?" She ask and I smile.
"It's great. I always wanted to see tge eifel tower." I say and give her a kiss on the cheek as well.

"And you know it's the city of love. Maybe we should go shopping again?" My mom adds.
"Sure. I need some cute dresses anyway. Uhm was that all you wanted?" I say.
"Yeah. You can go to your room." She says and I nod. Nika looks at me expectantly and I nod, telling her she can come to my room with me.

***

Nika and I are on season 7 with criminal minds, when my door opens and an angry Brodie comes in.
"Out." He growls at Nika who starts pouting and goes out.
"Hey that was mean." I say and stand up to look after her but he holds me back.

"No you're not running away again." He says and pushes me on the bed. He locks the door and comes back to the bed.
"Come here." He says after I moved away. I shake my head and sit down on my deskchair.
"What is wrong? I tried to talk to you in school. I also called and texted you." He says while standing in front of me.

"I've been busy." I say looking anywhere but his eyes.
"Look at me." He commands but I don't. He lifts my chin up and I meet his dark green eyes.
"Please don't push me away." He says and brings our foreheads together.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"Is it because I..." He begins but I cut him off.

"Please don't. I can't do this. Please Brodie, leave me alone." I say, pushing him away and standing up. He punches the wall.
"Sky. Please. What is it? Did I do something wrong?" He pleads.
"No you didn't. It's me. Don't you get it? I'm fucked up. We can't be what you want us to be. I'm sorry." I say exhausted.

"Don't baby. We are all fucked up. Why can't we be fucked up together?" He asks.
"You are not..." I start but he cut me off.

"It happened when my mom found out about my dad's cheating. It's me who caught them and of course I told my mom. One year later they got divorced. I don't know if you remember this but I was in the hospital for quite some time. My dad found out that I told my mom and one day when I spent the weekend at my dad's it happened. He got pretty drunk and beat me up." I look up at him and see him looking somewhere in the distance.

"'Finn' he laughed. And threw another hit in my face. 'My own son' he said and I was about to run away, when it happend. He threw his whiskey glass after me and it hit my back. I fell down on the ground. He stood up and I had some splitters in my back. He kicked me and some of the glass pieces stucked in the carpet. That's why I have these scars. Remember? You wanted to know what happened. It's also the reason why I don't want anyone to call me Finn."

I stand up and take his face in my hands, in order to make him look at me. A few tears fell from his eyes and I kiss them away. He hugs me and I hug him back.
"I'm so sorry." I say. It must have been pretty hard for him to tell me that. He hugs me tighter and I close my eyes. How can a person do that to his own son?

"I knew you wanted to say that I'm not fucked up. But I am." He whispers and I let out a sob. I don't want him to cry.
"I'm sorry. I actually do remember you're mom telling us that you were in the hospital." I say and pull away.
I lead him to the bed and he lays down. I lay down next to him and hug him. He kisses me and I kiss him back. He's face is still covered in tears and I kiss them away. He smiles and closes his eyes.
"We are a mess." I laugh and lay my head on his chest.

"How is your waist by the way." I ask.
"It's almost healed." He says and lifts his shirt up. The wound looks way better than he last showed me. I kiss it and lay my head back on his chest.
"It's the reason why we moved here." I say and he looks down at me confused.

"My issue. I wanted to starve myself back in Portland. I got bullied and I thought I was too fat. I can't really remember what happened but once I woke up in the hospital. I almost died. I had to visit a psychologist for one year and she gave me away. It got better but it comes sometimes." I look up and he looks down at me, his jaw clenched.
"Please don't ever try to kill yourself." He says and I nod.

"God you're a mess." I laugh and wipe his tears away. He takes my hand and kisses my palms.
"I love you." He looks down to see my reaction.

"I love you too." I smile and we kiss passionately. Right there I realised we are already are in the process of healing each other.