PALE FIRE

chocolate pancakes and reminiscing

Chocolate pancakes and reminiscing

They say that the feeling of home is wherever your heart belongs or who your heart belongs to.

I've been living within the confines of my parent's mansion after moving from Pennsylvania it sure as hell doesn't feel anything close to home to me,

I don't wake up to the usual captivating chocolate pancakes aroma in the morning or the sound of romantic classical songs and the cherry-coated sounds of laughter in the kitchen while my parents swayed carelessly with absolutely no care in the world lost in each other's gazes not even noticing my presence when I step in to steal a delicious pancake from the plate on the counter and the truth is that..... I miss them, I've done everything possible to bring them back but I know that that's not ever going to be possible

I can't shake the feeling of intense pain and grief away knowing that nothing I'll ever do can bring all those memories back so I don't blame myself for the tears that are threatening to spill out of my big brown doe eyes as I stand for what has been probably an hour in the shower.

Feeling the cold breeze hit my skin through the little window right at the top corner of my bathroom reminding me that it was probably time to come out now, wrapping myself in the warm large fluffy white towel and wrapping my hair as well with a much smaller one I walk into my room stepping into my walk-in wardrobe picking my giant hoodie with my cozy sweats and dress up

I trail my eyes from my head to my toes admiring my physique and I was pleased with what I saw staring back at me. My long curly hair trailed to my hips highlighting my defined curves in the right places and gorgeous body not to mention the dust of freckles on my pointed nose to my round and defined cheekbones where my dimples deepened while my plump heart-shaped pink lips completed my upper features it was no doubt that I was admittedly stunning even with sweats on and my hair that was now brushed and tied into a messy bun on top my head

"I looked like her," I thought sadly while I had gotten my dad's eyes and his height I was proudly 5'9 unlike my mom's rather smaller physique which made her rather more breathtaking

"Miss Skylar?" Lillian called from downstairs interrupting my trail of thoughts and bringing me back to reality

"breakfast is served in the dining room Miss" she stated rather cheerfully

"be right out thanks!" I responded immediately

The house was the same as it has been for years since they died and sincerely my heart hasn't completely accepted the thought of redecorating the whole place cause every intricate detail in this building has a reminder of what used to be my happiness and blissful memories as the house still carried bits of them

"Where's Sky?" Ryan speaks from the kitchen as I make my way to join him for breakfast

" I just called her, she'll be here anytime soon" Lillian answer muttering a few words under her breath too quietly for anyone to hear

"good morning" I mumbled while slipping into the seat right beside Ryan

He had a grey long sleeved top that hugged his perfect body and black jeans seems like he had been using the shampoo I got for him on his birthday which made his curly hair smell of apples and mixed with his cologne, and his baby blue eyes softened seeing me and brighten almost instantly " I saved some chicken pasta for you sky"he pointed out to the plated in front of me "thanks Ryan" stuffing my face with another of Lilly's delicious meals
Ryan is my twin brother luckily and there's no telling us apart except for Lilly and the obvious manly physique that he has right from birth we've been almost inseparable and our bond is extraordinary except for times when he displays some overprotective actions towards me which are understandable but he seems to go all the way to the top most times
He is handsome and even I know it, with broad shoulders and abs clearly showing that he worked on his body to his beautiful face and his towering height which we both took from my dad but the softer features we both got from my mother.

"sky?" he said waving his hand in my face " Huh?" snapping out of my thoughts," I said are you okay with helping me pick some things from Grandma tomorrow" giving me his adorable puppy dog look jutting his lower lip pouting and it was foolish of me to think I could say no to him I mean he could use that look and bribe me to buy him another car and I wouldn't be able to resist his cute face

"what is it this time Ryan" I mutter narrowing my eyes at him at least making him think those aren't working on me " Well, just a package for me and I have to complete all my last semester work for school soon I can't take that trip to her place right now"he gave me a toothy grin showing his white perfect teeth "can't you just get it delivered here instead? Why do I have to get it directly"I whine protesting " Grandma would love to see you and it has been a while since you last met so I'm doing you a favor "he stated almost proudly watching me stare at him in defeat "fine but it's not cool that you pulled that card"I spoke glaringly at him "you love me" he stated grinning cheekily making the dimple on his cheeks pop "of course"I mumbled rolling my eyes unable to stop the smile creeping to my face"

After breakfast, he went to hang out with some friends while I just went back to my room preparing to shut out reality and drown myself in books and music
My mind kept pondering the fact that after this year I'll finally be concluding high school after my senior year which is starting next two weeks from now surprisingly I was expecting to feel the relief of finally concluding high school instead I didn't expect to feel so melancholy and pitiful for myself because unlike most people graduating should be amazing but there isn't anything special about it, I haven't ever been a fan of making a big deal out of occasions like this knowing that I won't feel the joy and overwhelming bliss that comes with it. "boo!" someone exclaimed suddenly in my ear causing me to lose balance and somehow manage to fly off my large bed landing rather not so softly on the floor with my butt breaking my fall and it hurt badly "what the hell?" I shrieked at the culprit "I'm so sorry sky, you just seemed so into your book and you were lost when I came in so I decided to give myself a grand entrance" a voice I know too well replied in between laugh's causing me to stand up rather abruptly and running into the arms of my best friend Taylor White, holding her tightly against myself while she attempted to bring us, even more, closer " I missed you Tay" I mumbled against her hair in a shaky voice not realizing the tears spilling from my eyes
"I missed you more, I couldn't stop thinking about you alongside the gorgeous piece of meat that kept me sane in Costa Rica" she sniffled into my hair shaking out of laughter we both pull back to look at each other's faces and luckily her beautiful face still looked stunning even with tears trailing down her face grinning widely at each other

She was almost as tall as me 5'7 as her height her beautiful tanned skin and dark brown thick hair that went past her shoulders a bit framing her heart-shaped face and plump full pink lips alongside her most captivating upturned grey lovely eyes and pointed nose not to forget the hips and curves that complements her body and long legs like mine making her almost irresistible

"so how was your flight and your trip? You didn't call me and tell me you were coming" I gushed out of excitement watching her chuckle "What surprise would that be now sky? And that is why the reaction I got was topped better than what I was anticipating and this is just the first one" she slyly smirked at me

Trying to grasp what she was implying "What surprise?" I curiously stated

Watching her face split up in a shit-eating grin "C'mon Taylor just tell me" I pleaded "Okay the second surprise is....." she dragged staring mischievously at me "Okay?" I impatiently replied
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