Across the Hall (girlxgirl)

six

• E m b e r •

I had read somewhere that you should always give yourself 5-10 minutes of feeling, and allow yourself to lose it just a little before you start problem-solving and that's exactly what I did.

As soon as the door clicked behind Amara and Harry my legs gave out on me as I collapsed on the floor, the events of the night finally catching up to me. I couldn't control my body as sobs bubbled from my chest, wracking my shaking body as I cried. After years of carefully building my life, moving more times than I could count, sacrificing friends and freedom and a normal life-all for one I could control and now it's ruined.

Thea did the worst thing possible, she threw me into the deep end and left me all alone to drown. How could she do this to me? How could she leave?

I sobbed harder as the memories of my childhood and good times enveloped me. Me and my mum at the beach, during movie nights, making cakes or waffles, and at the diner she used to waitress at. I remembered what it was like when I had a nightmare and would run to her room and crawl up next to her and how she would stroke my head and hum lullabies in my ear until I would fall back to sleep. I could remember how she would brush my hair every day before school and we'd sing songs as we walked me to the building.

I missed my mum, my old mum but she died a long time ago- the woman who died today was only a shell of who she was, the woman who died today was Thea Daniels, not my mum.

When my sobs eventually subsided I was left hiccupping and exhausted, wishing a different sperm cell had collided with a different egg and some other broken soul was sitting here instead of me. Still, all I could do was kick off the heels, tug off my black dress and pull on the clothes from Naya before I climbed into bed, sleep barely coming to me. Safe to say I wanted to be anywhere else, even if it meant being back in my shoebox.

By the time the sun was peeping through the curtains I had started to stir, living a peaceful moment where I hadn't remembered the previous day but when I strained to open my swollen eyes and took in the unfamiliar room everything suddenly came crashing back.

The room was beautiful, spacious and probably half the size of my entire house, modernly decorated with whites, greys and greens but curled up in the middle of the bed I couldn't help but feel like an imposter, especially when I heard the whole house come alive. I didn't belong there, these people were strangers to me and yet there I was, sleeping in a bed that wasn't mine under a roof that would never be my home. 

"Ember?" Came Amara's voice with a soft knock at the door and I appreciated her waiting for my response before she came in. "Morning Ember, breakfast is downstairs, come down when you're ready and we can talk." She smiled kindly before she disappeared.

With no other option I joined her not much later, Naya, Harry and Amara already seated at the table set with eggs, toast, fresh fruit and orange juice. I'd never seen so much food on a table at once, what was on their table now would probably last my household a week. I barely registered their good mornings as I sat in the only empty seat next to Naya, trying to hold myself together long enough to make it through breakfast.

Throughout the whole thing, I managed to keep my emotions at bay, only speaking when I needed to and even somehow being able to force some fruit, yoghurt and granola into my system before I had to get ready to face what my life had become.

Everything was going as well as I could control, dealing with whatever was thrown my way- except for Naya. Naya scared me, she was too close to the life I had so carefully built and now that she was thrown into the middle of the one I had so carefully hidden away, she terrified me. She could single-handedly ruin the image I had made, she could be the reason people looked down on me or pitied me or she could tell everyone about the weird, parentless freak who was living in her house.