Across the Hall (girlxgirl)

twelve

• E m b e r •

I was probably insane and maybe even a little delusional to go out with Naya, and spend even more time alone together, but how could I've said no when she was staring at me with those piercing green eyes of hers? She knew how to use them to get her way, that's for sure. I mean how else was I sitting on the hood of her car, watching the sun set over the ocean and sipping on a slushy as we passed a joint between us? I welcomed the smoke though, it helped me survive being completely alone with Naya, especially when her arm was pressed up against mine- the stranger who knew more about me than anyone to walk the earth.

"So, are you happy you came?" Naya asked, forcing me to focus on the present as I took a sip of my drink, pushing my thoughts away.

"I am, actually," I admitted with a small smile. "It's so beautiful out here," I murmured absent-mindedly as I watched the waves crash onto the shore. "What made you bring me here?"

Naya shrugged, "I don't know, I just thought you'd appreciate it. Besides, you've been forced into letting me in on some of your secrets so I thought I should get even and let you in on some of mine."

Her answer surprised me. Naya didn't strike me as someone to be so forthcoming with her secrets and yet there we were.

"This place is my piano you could say," She continued. "I found it when I was going through a tough time in life and never stopped coming, especially when I need to think or need a time out. I guess there's something about seeing something so big that makes your problems feel smaller, more manageable." She said absent-mindedly, as though she was deep in thought before she blushed, turning to me. "Sorry, that probably sounds like such an insensitive thing to say, I know some problems are a little more complicated than staring at the ocean for a few hours." She muttered, shaking her head in embarrassment.

"No, it's okay," I smiled reassuringly. "Nobody chooses their battles, so I guess they're allowed to fight them however they can."

"You can say that again." Naya sighed. "My first battle was named Sage, she was the reason why I found this place."

"Sounds like a villain origin story." I teased, lightening the mood a little as she turned to me.

"So you think I'm a villain?" She questioned with a teasing smirk as I shrugged.

"Maybe more anti-hero now that you mention it." I clarified before taking a sip of my drink. "So, how did Sage make you find this place?" I found myself asking, needing to know more about her and balance the difference between us.

"Well, Sage was my first best friend and the first girl I fell in love with." Naya started with a sad smile. "What a lesbian cliche, am I right? I fell in love with my best friend and she completely shattered my heart." She laughed but there was no humour in it. "Sage was the new girl at school and still everyone wanted to be her friend, that's just the kind of girl she was- but out of everyone she picked me." Naya reminisced sadly. "It didn't take long for us to become inseparable, we would sit next to each other in every class and have sleepovers every weekend- we didn't leave each other's side. By thirteen I was infatuated. I don't know how I didn't realise it at the time, I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep every day for a week when she got a boyfriend." She chuckled. "Obviously, I told myself I was just scared she was going to forget about me, and ignore me for him, but by the time high school rolled around, I could no longer ignore it. 

"I was young and dumb so falling in love was easy," Naya said, shaking her head sadly. "Sage was the first time I acted on my sexuality, actually. What started as practice kisses led to us hooking up in secret. She initiated it all, so I allowed myself to believe her when she said she loved me when she said she wanted us to be together and wanted me to take her seriously. She was my best friend, so I trusted her wholeheartedly, I thought she was my safe space. She even asked me to come out so we could be together-" The words died on her tongue as she shook her head sadly, something breaking inside me as I watched her.