Half Awake -- Love & Psychosis

Chapter 3: Kyle

Coming back home from Cedarville was exhausting. There was a lot of crying about losing my scholarship and disappointing my parents. My brother was preparing for his first year of college too, so it was daunting to see him ready to succeed. I cant describe how it feels to feel like everybody is looking down on you all the time. Every move I made was wrong and my brain didnt take in information and retain it very well. I enrolled in GRCC, thinking it was probably right to continue school this year.

I was working at Meijer for the summer to save up for CC in the fashions department. It was simple; fold clothes and put away clothes. Retail was really slow paced and it got boring pretty often. I was working one day and swiping on Bumble, a dating app where the women message first. I came across this one guy named Kyle. Pretty background. Nice smile. Sailing and diving, pretty outdoorsy. I sent him a message and got a reply. This guy was willing to come visit me at Meijer! I was in the mens department folding all of the graphic tshirts, and this tall handsome guy with sharp looking glasses approached me. It was Kyle.

From there we hit it off. We talked everyday, stayed up late texting every night. I gave my undivided attention to someone who gave me his. It didnt take long for us to get to the third date.

Third date: the date number which is acceptable to have sex.

The big date was the drive-ins, in an old Chevy Silverado pickup with blankets and each other. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was a three hour long movie, but that was the one we picked! I had already seen it, so I barely watched it. I didnt want to give my undivided attention to a movie Ive seen, I was falling in love. Kyle had this glimmer in his eye when he looked at me, and that was how I could tell he was falling too.

We spent most of the movie talking, kissing, cuddling, and that was when he finally asked me to go out with him. Be his girlfriend. I hadnt been in a serious relationship outside of my abusive high school one. I wanted to fall in love and I knew I already was. I said yes to Kyle and it was the best decision I ever made.

Our relationship started off very happy and it stayed that way for a while. I made it a point to see him almost every day. He became the center of my world very quickly. Kyle is smart, funny, charming, and even inspirational. He loved diving and being around the water, but most importantly he loved me. When he moved out of his parents house it was closer to mine, and on the way home from school. I would just come over and make myself at home in his arms, and it was bliss whenever I got to stay over. We would binge watch movies and shows together in his room, but most importantly we got to be around each other. Quality time was something we valued because we had each other, simple as that. I used to think he was the only person who understood me, but I couldnt understand myself and it made things easy. I loved Kyle more than anyone. I still do, but I put myself first now.

The school semester went by fast, and I still wasnt doing good in any classes. Algebra was my worst enemy and I was going in no direction but my own. My GPA wasnt good and there was no point in trying anymore. 2nd semester didnt exist for very long. The earth was shut down for a life threatening virus.

COVID-19.

This pumped the brakes fast on everything everywhere. The world stopped. Kyle and I had found our first apartment just in the nick of time before everyone was told to go on a mandatory lockdown. . We adopted a cat named Frodo and we brought him with us too. It was nice to have a cat of our own. Frodo is a tabby with some white socks, and you should picture him as a chunky cat.