Small Talks (COL SERIES #09)

epilogue

"Let's have a small talk..." she dryly said. I gulped as I try focusing on her face.

"Sure," I nodded my head.

Sinubukan niyang bumangon ngunit muli siyang bumagsak. I was about to help her when she slapped my hand away.

"Don't touch me, let's just talk, okay?" she slurred while pointing at me. "Hindi por que hot at pogi ka bibigay na ako sa'yo. I'm not marupok."

My lips parted in amusement. Sandaling napailing ako bago muling magpokus sa kanya.

"Okay, okay." Tinaas ko ang dalawang kamay ko na tila sumusuko. "So, what are we going to talk about?" saad ko at bumagsak paupo sa sahig.

Tumagilid naman siya ng higa upang humarap sa akin. The strap of her spaghetti strap top slipped off of her shoulder ngunit tila wala siyang pake doon.

"Tell me, honestly, maganda ba ako sa paningin mo? Could I pull you?"

Surprised, I laughed at her, not taking her seriously. I threw my head back when she looked at me dead in the eyes.

"Why? Bat ka tumatawa? Di ako maganda sa paningin mo?" her eyes squinted.

"No." Umiling ako. "I laughed because your question is dumb. Obviously, you're so beautiful. One of the most I've ever seen, if I'm being honest."

A soft gasped escaped her. "You're lying."

"Yes, I am," I laughed richly.

She pouted, as if offended.

"You!" her mouth quirked up in humor.

Our small talk started with her silly questions while I try to answer her as honest as possible. We're clearly both drunk as we keep on changing our moods and blubber things and pretend that we understand each other. We'll joke around, say mean things to each other and then laughed together at the end.

But as time went on, I didn't notice that our conversation was getting deeper and deeper. Her silly questions became serious. Our laughter turned into calm smiles. Mahina na din ang ingay sa paligid, siguradong nakatulog na ang mga tao sa sobrang kalasingan habang nagsiuwian naman ang iba.

"Why do I get up of I'm going to die anyway. Why do we try do something if we know we're going to die sooner or later. What's this life even for? "

I tilted my head to have a better view of her. Nakapatong na ang braso ko sa kama habang nakasandal ang ulo ko sa aking kamay. Her mouth was tight and grim.

I bit my lower lip as her slim and wild beauty sinks into me. Alam ko nang maganda siya kanina pa ngunit iba pala kapag tinitigan mo na. Hindi ko alam kung unti-unti na akong nawawalan ng tama ng alak o mas lalo akong nalalasing sa kanya. Patago akong napangisi sa sarili.

How did we both find ourselves in this situation? We're both strangers to each other. We don't even know the names of one another, and yet we're talking about things this deep?

"You know, instead of thinking stuff like that, why don't you try looking at the other direction," I started as I felt my racing heartbeat. "Bakit sa pangit ka lang nakatingin? Instead of thinking of not getting up cause we're going to die sooner or later, which is true, why can't you do things while you still can?"

"Huh?" she blinked.

"I mean, totoo, mamatay din tayo. Pero bakit hindi natin gamitin yung oras na mayroon tayo to do meaningful things and help the world for the better?" I shrugged. "And instead of waiting for the time you die, why don't you try to make yourself better. Or kung wala ka ng gustong baguhi sa buhay mo, why don't you find a way or be an instrument to help make others better? What may be a small gesture for you may be a big thing for others."

The corner of her mouth lifted. "Why do you sound so good? You sound so mature. Bakit di ganyan yung ex ko?"

My expression softened. "Kasi di ako ang ex mo."

"Alam ko..." Umingos siya. "You know how to listen too. Kung ano-ano na pinagsasabi ko pero nandito ka pa din."

"You went into a messy break up, huh." I wshispered to myself and then blew out my cheeks.

For someone to find comfort in a stranger, what you went through was no joke. Naalala ko tuloy bigla ang mga nauna niyang tanong. At first, I thought it was silly of her to ask me if she was beautiful. But now, I realize that maybe she was looking for assurance if she was enough and nothing's wrong with her.

"Kung ikaw ba yung boyfriend ko, magche-cheat ka din ba sa'kin?" she silently asked.

"I would never cheat on you." I gave a reassuring smile. "Dahil kapag pumasok ako sa relasyon, alam kong handa akong magmahal ng buo. Because I know that nobody deserves a half-hearted love, especially to be cheated on."

Her hands reached for my face. Tila kinikilala ang aking mukha. She smile but didn't speak, so I continued.

"If you're doubting yourself, please don't. You're enough, you're perfect just the way you are. Hindi mo kasalanan na hindi siya natutong makuntento sa love na binigay mo."

She was broken enough to not recognize her own importance and beauty. She was broken enough to be teary-eyed to my simple words. I was just there, telling her things that she should already know.

My lips parted when her fingers trace the frame of my lips.

"Fix me, please. I want my old self back." A warmth of her smile echoed on her voice. There's a hint of hope on her face. "Gusto kong mahalin ulit yung sarili ko." Tears welled within her eyes.

Umangat ako sa pagkakaupo sa sahig at mas lumapit sa kanya. I imprisoned her face with my hands to brush her tears away. Bumangon siya mula sa pagkakahiga kaya't inalalayan ko siya. I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her and she leaned over me.

My breaths quickened as her lips brush against mine. Umatras ako upang tingnan siya. She stared at me with longing in her eyes.

"I'm sure. Let's do it," she answered even though I haven't said anything yet.

She kisses me again and this time it's different, I can feel a sense of urgency, a hunger that I haven't felt before. Our bodies rock together, my hands are roaming up over her back and down to her behind. When the last straw of my sanity was ripped, I pulled her into my lap.

And maybe that's not a good way to start a love story, but it sure worked on ours.