Love Sick

Chapter Ten: The Calm Before The Storm.

"His name is Freed Justine"

That simple sentence shook his very core. Turned everything he thought upside down. He was so stupid. It was his fault. Everything was his fault. It doesn't matter that he doesn't remember ever rejecting Laxus because if he had been more open and honest then there would be no need for the blond to be in pain.

He felt faint.

Out of politeness he continued the bookclub meeting but he was lost in a daze the entire time. And once it was over he stumbled home, not bothering to see Laxus for a second time that night.

...

He spent the rest of the day berating himself. Lost to the world and alone with his thoughts. Feeling sorry for himself and having a great amount of guilt weighing on his shoulders. 

And then he posed questions for himself.

Because even if his long time crush wasn't aware of his feelings, he would still have to know that Freed would always be on his side, he would accept the other. And he would be happy to do so even without romantic feelings involved.

So why didn't he just ask?

Pride? 

Self-pity?

Or was Freed truly such a bad option? Just because they were soulmates didn't mean he was attracted to the other man. Gajeel didn't fall for Levy immediately after all. Thr dragon slayer admitted that he spent a long time hating the connection. 

Freed thought they were friends. And although there is a difference between friendship and romance- how could they have any semblance of closeness when he was such a disgusting prospect that Laxus would rather succumb to his illness. 

Briefly he wondered about the exact opposite. Or the only opposite  that his mind would supply. In his mind he was telling himself that he was looking on the brightside when in reality he was the only one providing the darkness that was clouding his mind.

He wasn't thinking about the fact that Laxus could like him, he ruled that out. But he started to wonder if it wasn't about being not close enough, maybe the pair was too close. Freed saw Ever as a surrogate sister and had a brother out of Bickslow. Maybe Laxus viewed him like a brother. 

That made sense. Not wanting to change that particular relationship status. 

But that didn't make it easier for him. He didn't know how he was going to face his Thunder God with his new information. He thought of going to Blue Pegasus again but he was a man and he shouldn't run away. 

Not again...

He can't...

It would not do to waste time like that. Who knew how long his best friend had to live and he was thinking about running away. He wasn't the type of man to run away from his problems. At least he used to be. He wondered what changed, what made him a lesser man. 

What drove him to his cowardice. 

...

With his thoughts lost in a whirlpool of vicious scenarios, of course he didn't sleep well. The rune mage planned to sleep in but his plans were abruptly stopped by a quick knock on the door. 

Not in the mood for visitors he wasn't dressed in his proper style. He wore a pair of black shorts that were quite short but it was approaching summer in his defense. Along with it he was wearing an old large purple shirt with a rip on the right sleeve, and the shirt was so big that it was slipping off his shoulders. He didn't bother wifh doing anything with his hair yet so it fell freely around him. 

When he opened the door he was greeted by Lisanna but a couple steps behind her loomed the hulking figure of Laxus. "Oh! Did you just get up? I'm so sorry" she said. Freed couldn't help but feel the orange eyes that were staring at him like they could burn holes into his skin. "Didn't sleep too well. My temperature lacrima is on the fritz again." 

It wasn't really a lie. It's true that he had trouble finding sleep. It was also true that the lacrima was almost always broken and had been broken for three days. But the truth was that the statements weren't correlated and unless it was extremely hot or extremely cold then he had no issue doing anything when it wasn't working as it should. 

The slight squint to the eyes and the deepening frown meant that Laxus had also known that truth. Of course he did. They talked a lot about that damn Lacrima.

"Really? That's too bad. Do you want me to ask if big brother Elfman can come over and fix it? He's really handy you know" Lisanna said. "Thanks for the offer but I'm good. I should finally take a crack at it instead of paying for professionals that are clearly missing a couple screws themselves" He said with a shake of his head. 

Unexpectantly that drew out a huff of laughter from the blond. He brought up a hand to hide his smile but Freed could still tell by the way his eyes crinkled. 

"Oh yeah! Anyway. I came to drop of Laxus. I got to get going cause big sister, big brother and I are going to go on a job with Bickslow, Cana and Evergreen" Lisanna said. She clapped her hands excitedly before she sped off. Leaving the two men to stare at each other from the door way.

Freed was the first to move in this delicate chess game. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, come in" he said quietly. He opened the door wider and took a step back to make way for the taller man. Stiffly he complied. 

The duo went and sat in the living room. "So that's where that shirt went. Thought I lost in on a mission somewhere" Laxus said. Freed ducked his head as an act of shame as well as a cover for his face that was burning red. "Technically you did. You leant it to me years ago on a mission when I got hypothermia. " The green haired man admitted.

"And you just kept it?" There was a smirk evident in his voice. "Yeah?" Freed answered. He knew he shouldn't have but it was an honest mistake at first and when he realized that the purple shirt circulating his laundry cycle belonged to his Thunder God it had already beem years and he felt embarrassed about returning it after that. 

A comment shut down his thought process.

"Well I'm glad you did. Looks better on you" it was such an honest statement that Freed's head had snapped up and his eyes met Laxus. They were wide and surprised like he had spoken before realizing and had been shocked at what he himself had said.

"Laxus?" He asked with all the breath knocked out of him.