Love Sick

Chapter Eleven: The Thunder In My Veins.

"I-"

"Laxus?"

He hadn't meant to say that. His mouth acted before his brain could catch up and he accidently voiced his thoughts to the one person he couldn't. 

"Forget I said anything"

"Why?" 

That simple word stopped him in his tracks and it felt like his brain was short-circuiting. Why. Why should the man he was falling for ignore his compliments, his sweet words, his flirting? Why did he say it in the first place? Why did he think it? Why. 

Because the world was a cruel place.

"I don't know" he hated his voice. He couldn't trust it. It sounded weak and bordering on tears to his own ears and he was frightened about what Freed was taking away from it. He had been sitting on the couch while the smaller man took residence on the armchair but after Laxus' statement he got up.

Tentatively he raised up and started approaching the other man like he was scared of spooking him. Like Laxus was a wild animal. 

"Laxus are you okay?" He asked. Freed sat beside him and placed a comforting hand on the larger man's knee. The blond didn't know how to answer. Was he?

He didn't realize it but there were tears streaking down his face, falling to leave damp spots against the collar of his coat and shirt. "Laxus?". "I shouldn't have said that. Please just forget it" Laxus said. "What are so scared of Laxus?" Freed asked. 

Because a compliment like that didn't have to mean anything. It wasn't something that needed to be forgotten in order to protect their friendship. Even if it was in rough shape without either man truly realizing. But Freed was starting to see the cracks, spidering out to create thousands of more cracks until the ice wasn't just worryingly thin but plummeting below your feet and leaving you submerged in the freezing lake you forgot was there.

So what could Laxus be afraid of? Rejection? Leading him on? What?

Laxus looked up and the two men locked eyes. He tried to say something- he wasn't sure what- but nothing came out. That was probably for the best. He was just too lost in the moment. 

No one was sure who moved first but it was probably Laxus. But they had both ended up leaning into the other and ending up kissing. After his brain caught up and he was aware of what he had done Laxus tried to pull away but Freed ended up following his mouth and they continied kissing. 

It was slightly strange for Freed as Laxus had been crying only moments before. But he took it as a sign that this moment was real and not one of his fantasies. The imperfection of the moment was what made the moment. He started cradling the blond's face in his hands, trying to show how dear he holds the other men. 

He felt hands softly hold his hips. But Laxus pulled away again. He didn't go far and there faces were still so incredibly close. "Freed" he breathed. Freed could feel the whisper against his own lips. 

"Yeah?" He asked. "Do you know? Laxus asked, his voice was shaking slightly. "Only since yesterday" he answered. He felt one of Laxus' hands comb through his hair gently. The blond laughed. "God I'm an idiot" he proclaimed. Freed rested his hands against the other man's chest. "Then we're both idiots" he said. "I think I can do that" Laxus agreed.

...

The two men stayed cuddling on the couch, Laxus still running his fingers through his soulmate's hair. They had been silent for a while. 

"Why did you reject me?" Laxus asked. Freed sat up slightly. "When did you even ask me out?" He asked in return. The blond smiled fondly. "Forget it" "Okay". They continued to just hold each other.

Being apart felt wrong. After all they had been very close so losing this before it could even start. And Laxus' instinct were demanding that he stayed close.

But Freed's mind was still racing. He would be whatever Laxus needed him to be and if his feelings were one-sided? He couldn't shake the dark thoughts that were plagueing him. Who knows why Laxus was dropped at his doorstep, maybe someone had convinced him that this was for the best. Or another incident regarding his health had occured and it scared him.

There was no way that his feelings could be matched. It was a foolish hope. But he would eat the scraps he was given and he couldn't be upset as he had somehow won this impossibly unwillable situation.

Laxus leaned down and placed a kiss to Freed's hair. "You're better with people than I am" He started. "Are you sure about that?" Freed asked. Laxus was way more social. "I'm popular but I'm not a people's person" the blond said. "But since you're better with people I'll have to rely on you a lot when it comes to talking to the guild about this" he made a gesture between the two of them.

"I don't want them to force this relationship to go farther than we're ready and I don't want anyone to blame you" Laxus added. 

"I'll think of something tomorrow" Freed said. He forgot they would have to tell the guild. Well obviously they would have to talk at some point but he forgot how odd their situation was. The guild would have to be told that Laxus was accepted by his soulmate and it wouldn't take long for them to figure out who.

It was like they were in a glass cage for everyone to see and judge. But Freed was confident that they had survived worse.