What's cutting like?
Imagine yourself sitting on your bed alone in your room. You aren't doing anything in particular, just staring. Thoughts and painful memories are whipping through your head. Your hands start getting a little shaky and you become overwhelmed with this mental pain. Everything seems so hopeless, your life, dreams and happiness seem so long gone. That's when you hear the voices. It's a voice in your head that just adds on to the pain,making everything your fault. Telling you how ugly, stupid, fat, annoying you are etc.. You close your eyes but the voice doesn't stop. You clench your teeth but the pain is still there. Everything becomes too much. You look beside you and there sitting on your bedside table is a blade. Shiny and Sharp. You look at it for a few seconds trying to resist the strong urge. Then the voice starts to tell you that you deserve it, you deserve the harm, and you deserve to feel worthless because you are. You break down. Picking up the blade, you feel its power in your hand. The blade touches your skin, and the coolness of the mental gliding through your skin gives you instant relief, you can see yourself opening up, and you become so focused on the blood pouring out of you and the pain that feels so good. The voice starts to fade, only slightly but still better than nothing. Your body feels the stinging and you are reminded that you are alive. The tears in your eyes start to dry as you rip apart your skin even further. Blood is dripping all over your bed sheets but you don't care because the pain is irresistible and you deserve it. When you are done,you lay limp in your bed trying to catch the blood before it stains your sheets more. Looking at all the blood you feel like monster. You broke down and gave in. You feel worthless and tears start rolling down Once again. You ask yourself, what have I become? You're crying but the little voice in your head says, "look at all that pretty blood, good job" and that's when your demons take over your thoughts and you become possessed by this voice. You become possessed by your blade.
That's what cutting is like.
~NEMO
