Christmas in July

BISHOP SECURITY. TRANSCRIPT LOG. FN 19459. 09/01/25.

BISHOP SECURITY. TRANSCRIPT LOG. FN 19459. 09/01/25.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Hello, Miss Avenger.

212-528-6138: Hey, I'm on a break. How's construction going?

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: It is going. For sure.

212-528-6138: That bad huh?

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: I am surviving. The fittings are fiddly, the instructions leave a lot to be desired, and I'm pretty sure I've lost that little tool that came in the box. Allen's key?

212-528-6138: There should be some more in a tool box under the sink.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Thank you, I will check there. Zhizn' ebet meya...How is it that I can put together nearly any automatic rifle, blindfolded, in under twenty seconds, but I cannot do this? This... this mundane little task.

212-528-6138: You are not the first, and you won't be the last person to be undone by a piece of IKEA furniture, I'm just sorry I can't be there to help.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: When you are summoned, you are summoned. It's my fault for thinking I could do this by myself.

212-528-6138: You can do it, Yelena, I believe in you. Remember, Russian efficiency. It's not like you to give up. You're the most badass, capable person I know.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Pizdets!

212-528-6138: How about I treat us to dinner. Whatever you want. I can ask Scott to swing by somewhere on the way home, I'm sure he won't mind.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: I am your kept woman now, aren't I?

212-528-6138: You are no such thing. A kept woman wouldn't be left to construct her own bed, alone.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: That is exactly what a kept woman would have to do.

212-528-6138: So, what will it be? Indian, oh we could try the Ethiopian place.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Ramen. I would like ramen. Oh, or katsu, yes, I would like pork katsu.

212-528-6138: Then pork katsu you shall have, my lady.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Thank you. And even though it's driving me crAa-zy, thank you for Ee-Kay-ah. You didn't have to. Apart from the cutlery thing, that was a deal breaker for me.

212-528-6138: You need your own space, and your own things. You deserve that. I'm just grateful I have the means again to give it to you. And let's be honest we should really be thanking the Bank of Eleanor Bishop.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Thank you, Momma Bishop, and thank you to your lawyer friend who got that account unblocked.

212-528-6138: We can toast to corruption when I'm home.

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: Da. Za korrpstsil.

212-528-6138: And when I'm home, instead of sitting in my bed, watching Netflix and sharing a mind bendingly hot ramen with one fork, do you want to sit in your brand new bed and share your katsu with two?

8l00DTH1R5TY V161L4NT3: We are not sharing this time, Kate.

212-528-6138: Fine, fine, I'll get my own.