Christmas in July

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"So, you are telling me that I must walk all the way around this place?"

"Yes!  That's the whole idea. It's cool, right?" Kate Bishop had been struggling to contain her excitement.  For one, she was shopping, which wasn't something she'd really been able to do properly since her credit cards were cancelled last Christmas.  Secondly, she was shopping with Yelena, something she'd been looking forward to since she'd learned that the Russian was moving in with her.  And lastly, but not leastly, she was shopping in the Scandinavian paradise bazaar that was  IKEA.   Yelena didn't seem to share Kate's enthusiasm for the venture, but the youngest and only Bishop child would soon make her see otherwise.

"You walk round," Kate continued with unmatched enthusiasm, "Check out the rooms, get some inspo, eat some meatballs.  You have to have the entire IKEA experience."

"Will this take the whole day?" Yelena asked. Her apathy palpable.  Kate would have to up her game.

"Picture yourself hosting around this beautiful kitchen island," she said, as she draped herself seductively across the piece of furniture.  "Admire the complexity, elegance and efficiency of these quaker style storage solutions." Kate ran her fingers across the veneered wood as Yelena crinkled her nose, probably at the thought of how many grubby hands had gone before.  If the Russian wasn't sufficiently repulsed, her disgust grew deeper as Kate grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her towards a staged living room set. "Sit back, relax on one of the many textiled couches and take the weight of your feet whilst you contemplate life, Swedishly."

Kate released her friend and threw herself into a wingback chair.  "Look, cool chair huh?  I look smart in this chair."

Yelena simply shrugged.  "But we are not here for a chair.  You already have chairs and average smarts.  We are here for cutlery.  Where is the cutlery?"

"Yelena, I admire how to straight to the point you are, I really do.  There's never any bullshit with you, but you see, IKEA is a journey, and you need to give yourself up to that journey."

"You are going to ignore that average smarts jibe?"

"Gotta choose my battles," Kate explained, shrewdly.

Yelena's eyebrow quirked as she tried to hide a smile; Kate had defied her expectations.  FUCK.  YESSSSS.  Like a fucking boss boi.  "You surprise me every day Kate Bishop.  Not always in a good way, but you surprise me none the less."

"Well, how about you surprise me and just embrace this journey, just a little more.  For me.  Embrace the IKEA life."

"Like I embraced Pokémon for you?  Like I embraced working for a US Government Agency, like I embraced leaving my family and relocating to the USA, like I embraced leaving my dog behind for you so that your dog could be happy, like I embraced pineapple pizza because you didn't want to pay extra for half and half?"

Don't be drawn offside, she's living with you rent free.  In your apartment and elsewhere.

"Yes, just like that." Kate smiled sweetly.  What had Yelena taught her, smile and play dumb?

Yelena sighed.  "Fine," she said through gritted teeth.  "I will embrace this IKEA life you speak of.  Now, where is the cutlery?"

"Oh, it's in the market hall," Kate explained.

"Where's that?" Yelena asked.

"Umm," Kate glanced with trepidation at the one-way system marked upon the floor, "It's at the end of the one-way system."

"It's one way?" Yelena asked, incredulously.

"Yes," Kate mumbled, preparing herself for the inevitable show of impatience.