Meet Me Half Way

Chapter 31

You are never guaranteed happiness. Most days, you fight until your body is battered and broken until your mind is nothing but a circling wheel of thoughts and emotions. You fight for a reason to stay alive. You fight to find a purpose, a person, a friend. You fight because, deep down, you know you'd rather die trying to find happiness than by the hands you call your own.

Spencer greeted me the next day with a singular rose and a card. We were sitting on the ledge that framed the baseball field.

"I'm so sorry, Harley; I can't imagine what you are going through," he said. His nose was burnt red, showing a weird contrast between his skin tone.

I let him take my hand as we sat in silence. The birds were chirping, flying low in the sky. Some baseball boys were headed toward the locker room, casting looks our way as they passed.

"It's okay, Spencer. He will be okay."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to take you. I'm glad Luke was there, though."

"No, it's completely fine. I wouldn't expect you even to know what was going on. You were in a different state."

"Yeah, but I want to be a good boyfriend. So if anything happens again, no matter the situation, I want to be there for you."

"Please don't feel bad about it, Spencer. I promise you it is okay."

"I promise you we will spend more time together. With classes and baseball, it becomes a very loaded schedule, but I promise you that I will make time."

I brushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled. "Spencer, listen to me. It is okay; I'm always here."

He laughed, "Okay, I'm glad."

A herd of boys emerged from the locker room, heading to the baseball field.

"Hey, it looks like most of your team is getting ready for practice," I said.

"Yeah, I should probably go. Could we hang out later or tomorrow?" Spencer said. I could tell he felt guilty for constantly being gone, but I couldn't be mad; he's a student-athlete.

I kissed him on the cheek before he stood up, "Yes, of course. Just let me know what's up."

"Okay, I'll let you know," he said as he collected his stuff and stood up.

I couldn't help but feel sad watching him run up to his teammates who were about to enter the facility.

I felt a sense of relief when I spotted Luke in the library. His hair was surprisingly brushed out of his eyes. He was zoned in on his computer screen; his eyes were scrunched up.

When I sat across from him, his eyes popped up, and he smiled at me.

"Hey, what's up?" He said.

"Hey, what are you working on?"

He sighed as he flipped the computer screen to show me.

"Some baseball pictures. I am editing a couple of them. My supervisor is giving me an attitude because I'm not editing them as well as I should. So I have to upload them onto Instagram."

"Those pictures look good without editing."

The pictures on Luke's computer were impressive enough compared to the edited version. The edited images seemed less realistic, the dirt on their pants didn't seem as noticeable, and the emotion seemed gone. I know Mia would understand Luke's frustration more than I do. She was a photographer, after all. A part of me felt jealous, jealous that I couldn't relate to Luke in this way.

"I like the unedited ones," I said.

Luke sighed as he continued scrolling, "Yeah, I do, too, but David doesn't."