Only for the notes

Never

I will never truly be healed
These opened tissue scars of mine
Will never be sealed
They will bleed out on me
And others that get in the way
Leaving a terrible puddle of blood
Where ever I may go
Maybe it's my mind that knows
These buried scar will be here forever
Like a form attachment of myself
They will always stand
Never too far away to touch
But not to close to fear
They just linger there
Soaking up the environment around me
Until they feel a need to let loose
Let go
And let me feel everything all at once
I'm happy for everyone before me that
Has healed and moved on with
The rest of there life
Not forgetting what happened
But just leaving it as a memory in the past
To not haunt them as they wake
But me
I could never forget
My trauma being a second arm onto
The 2 I already have
But I still feel I need
I'll never be able to look over
What was done to me
I'll forever have a hatred in my heart
For the ones that wronged me
From the beginning
Before I even had a chance to grow
Into the beautiful flower I could have
Become
For now
I'll just have to rot
In this dirty garden
That I've built around myself
To me I am a beautiful white rose
Just stained with a little bit of red
But to them I'm a weed
To deep rooted to stay
But too hard to dig up