Simbongile Princess Ntabeni: The Called (S2)

Chapter Ninety-Five

-Simbongile Princess Ntabeni-

When I got home, I went straight to my room and undressed. When I was done, I collected EVERYTHING I had ever used in anything relating to ubugqirha, put them in a black plastic bag and walked down the stair to look for matches and paraffin. When I got the two, I walked to the back of the house, put the black bag on the ground and poured paraffin on it. Mom must have drove back in as I walked to the back and followed me because I caught her scent and turned around, she peeped to look behind me ndamsukela abone and she sighed, walking closer to where I was standing.

Mom: Mntanam...

Me: If you're going to convince me to not do this then please don't say a word mama.

Mom: Look, I know a lot has happened, I understand that. But do you think what you are doing is the way to go? You believe in this, you believe in these things, you believed that this is who you are... I had no choice but to support you and I will always support you whichever route you take.

Me: But?

Mom: But, do you think burning izinto zakho is the way to go?

I took a deep breath, the paraffin stench almost knocking me off.

Me: This is what I want mama, ukuba izinyanya zam zindifuna ndiligqirha zizotsho and this time around zizocacisa yonkinto before I take the route. I know zikhona, I know ziyandibona nangoku but there is no way I will continue carrying this on my back after what happened kwindawo ebendicing'ba ndisiwe ngabo kuyo.

Mom: You don't think usiwe ngabo anymore ngoku?

I sighed... I now had to narrate what happened in KZN to her and I did.

She was listening attentively, which was encouraging because umama never listens to anything that she is not interested in. When I was done telling her the "tale" she nodded, looking at the bag in front of us.

Me: I didn't want to say anything at the time, because I felt like I could have been wrong. Like, yonke lento could have easily just been something in my head.... Maybe a hallucination of some sort. But after what happened with Bakholiwe? Hay mama shame, they can miss me. Imagine if Bakholiwe was a man? Ewe I am traumatized now, but yho ha.a mama torho...

Mom: I am not saying don't go ahead with what you feel is right mntanam, but my fear is you doing things based on emotions zijike ezozinto zibuye ngawe in the long run. A part of me wants to suggest that ukhe ume kancinci, and see if by next week or next month you'll still be feeling like this. Like, ingaske uzilinde nawe ube right, and then make informed decisions because we both know into edibene nezinyanya and whatever nots can be problematic ebomin bomntu. I wouldn't want you to experience more problems than the ones you have experienced. Umncinci, your stress should be about school, career and maybe boys. Not izinto ezinjena.

I looked at the pile and exhaled.

She was making sense, but my problem was that I had already poured the paraffin. As if she could read my mind, she suggested that I keep the bag in the garage, and then whenever I felt like I was ready, I would go and fetch it from there and that's what I did. I tossed the bag in the garage, went back inside to wash my hands and then joined umama in her room. I thought she'd be in bed, or something. Ndafika umntu taking out clothes from her closet. I sat on her bed and frowned, she frowned back with a shrug but didn't say a word.

Me: Uyaphi?

Mom: I have a date in about two hours.

Me: A date?

Mom: Yes Simbongile, a date.

Me: With who? Waphi?

She laughed, shaking her head and I knew I wasn't going to get my answer.

Mom: A quick question, are you and Qhamani still a thing?

Me: Are you going to mize my questions and bring Qhamani in?

Mom: I just did.

Me: Wow fam, wow. Well, to answer your question... Qhamani and I broke up.

Mom: Mh, and you didn't die?

Me: Me? Die? Over a random boy? Hayi mama put some respect on my name.

We both laughed.

Me: I wanted to die, honestly, but the pep-talk I had with makazi saved me from myself and u Siyambonga ne sarcasm yakhe. Yho undigezele umntanakho shame.

Mom: He loves you, and he feels like he should protect you. Well, all of us, he wants to protect all of us.

Me: I know, and I love him back. And you.

Mom: Aaaw baby, Princess ka tata wayo.

Me: PLEASE DON'T BE A SIYAMBONGA!

She burst out laughing.

I got up and walked to her closet while she was clutching at her stomach, still laughing at me. I swapped her biker jacket with a blazer and her open toe shoes with pointed stilettos.

Me: When going out with a stranger you need to represent us well ke sisi, biker jackets can be worn on your second date. For now, be classy and pay your own bill.

Mom: Wha-

Me: And don't bring him here, sizobe sihleli on the waiting for you to come back.

I smiled and walked out.

As soon as I closed the door I laughed my heart out, it was her facial expression that caught me off guard. She couldn't believe what I had said, neither could I. I got to the lounge and no one was there so I took out my phone, went through WhatsApp statuses until I bumped onto esika mama ka Qhamani. I had forgotten that I had saved her number while I was in Durban, and muted her status updates. She had her son on there... which made me miss him, and so I got off the app, went on to unblock him and then dialed his phone knowing ba ingangabanjwa nguye, but to my surprise, he answered avela aphela emqaleni.

Qhamani: Yho, this is a nice surprise.

I went dead silent, my heart beating right against my chest.

Qhamani: Ba- Uhm, Sim, hello?

Me: Hey, uhm, unjani?

Qhamani: I'm happy to hear your voice, unjani wena?

Me: I'm alright.

Qhamani: Thank you for calling me... I know we le-

Me: I didn't call to talk about our relationship, I just called to hear unjani and I can hear u right.

Qhamani: Okay... I understand.

Me: Sharp ke.

Qhamani: Before you go... will you come to my homecoming ceremony? Izoba lapha eKapa.

Me: No I wont come, but I'm sure you guys will have fun.

Qhamani: Sim ndiyakucela torho, noba uze late after the formalities had been done. Please.

Me: I can try and see you off at the airport xa ubuyela e Durban bro, I will not go to your home and humiliate myself further than I already have.

Qhamani: Abazobakh-

Me: Please don't push for this Qhamani torho, you are making me regret calling you.

He didn't respond.

Me: I have to go.

Qhamani: I miss you.

Me: Sharp mfethu yho.

I hung up and kicked myself.

Why did I call him? What was I hoping to achieve? What did I think will happen? Yerr!