Not a Monster After All

We Need to Talk

It was the next day and Bucky was tired.

Ever since he had that dream the night before he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He just had so many questions and he didn't know if Natasha could answer them.

Even if she only knew one answer to one question, Bucky knew he needed to know.

Bucky's never been to Natasha room before so he didn't really know where he was going. He only really went on his side of the house because the kitchen was on that side too. So there was no reason to go on the other side. Not until now. He also had no clue if Natasha would even be in her room because it was already ten o'clock. Who knows what she could be doing then.

Every step Bucky took was a another drop of sweat that left his body.  Needless to say he was nervous.

When he got to Natasha's door (or what he assumed was Natasha door) he paused for a second. Calming himself. After those few seconds he lifted his right arm and knocked onto the door.

Anticipation filled his body as he waited for someone to open the door. Of course Natasha was the one to open it, but Bucky was still shocked when he saw her.

"H-hey" Bucky stuttered.

"Umm hi Bucky. What are you doing here? Natasha asked confused.

"I was wondering" Bucky cut himself off looking to his left "if we could talk."

Natasha took a second to respond, surprised by the demand.

"Yeah, come in." She said as she opened the door more so Bucky could make his way through.

When Bucky walked into her room he felt a sense of safety. The room felt like her. The bed was covered with slick red bed sheets, book cases filled with books almost all in Russian and a painting hung up. Bucky couldn't tell what it was. He never really understood art . How could paint or a pencil make people feel so many different things. But, this painting did make Bucky feel many things. It was a shadow of some random person. It looked like a girl. She was in the middle of the painting but surrounding her were blotches of black. Almost as it was consuming her. It kinda looked like Natasha in a way.

"What did you want to talk about?" Natasha asked breaking the silence in the room.

"I don't really know how to say it." Bucky sounded unsure of himself.

"Say what?" Bucky noticed Natasha's voice sounded almost hopeful. This was the shove Bucky needed to be able to say what he really wanted to.

"We knew each other. Way before we met or what I thought was when we met. Did you know?"

"You remembered." Natasha had a sad smile on her face.

"You knew?" Bucky almost sounded hurt.

"Yes, but I thought it was for the better if I never told you. I mean you have been going through a lot recently. Plus what was I going to say. 'Hey nice to see you, did you know we used to be in love with each other.' You don't just say that."

"That wasn't your choice Nat." Bucky now sounded mad.

"Bucky I couldn't. I don't even remembered everything that happened. I didn't know how to mention it let alone explain it."

"Did you know what the mission was about? The one we worked on?"

"I have no clue. The more I try to think about it the more I get confused. All I know was that we worked with each other for about a year." Natasha answered.

"God." Bucky sighed.

"What do we do now?" Natasha sounded upset. But you wouldn't be able to guess it by her facial expressions.