My Guardian Angel

Chapter 28

Cassie should be floating on cloud nine right now. After last night, she certainly thought she would, but then she went into her apartment and did some thinking. Actually, it was a lot of thinking. She didn't sleep a wink because of it.

She can't get hurt again. Not like that. Who's to say he won't do the same thing as last time? He's proven that he could say things to make her weak in the knees, but then be gone just a moment later. She desperately wants to protect her heart. It's still tender and aching from the last two men in her life.

She doesn't think it can stand another heartbreak.

Walking into school today, she decided to pretend like last night didn't happen. She was sure he was going to do the same. After all, he did break part of his "moral code".

When she walked into the office, she saw he wasn't there. His bags were on the floor and his coat on the back of the chair, but no sign of the man himself. She shrugged it off, then sat at her own desk. Just as she got out her laptop to write some stories she's had in her head, the door opened.

Ben walked in and smiled upon seeing her. He held up one of the coffee cups in his hands as he shut the door with his foot. "Got here a bit early," he told her, "so I thought I'd get us our drinks. Here." He set the steaming cup on her desk, then went to his own.

"Thanks," she mumbled. Truthfully, she was pissed. How dare he prove to be more of a gentleman!?

After a moment of silence - minus the furious typing sounds coming from her - Ben cleared his throat. "Cassie, I was wondering if we could talk."

Her fingers stopped moving across the keyboard and she let out a quiet sigh. I guess he ins't pretending like nothing happened. She reluctantly gave him her full attention, but still acted confused. He doesn't need to know that it's all she's been thinking about.

"Listen," he said, "I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have made you believe something could come of this because....well because it can't. Not right now, at least. I hope you understand." He looked like he was ready to receive a world of hurt, but he was going to be in for a surprise.

"That's alright," she said with a shrug. She didn't say anything more and went back to her writing.

He was very confused. Truthfully, her reaction bothered him. "Hang on a moment," he said, leaning more forward in his chair. "I kissed you last night, correct?" She nodded to him. "I kissed you...and you're alright with me saying nothing can come of it? It's "alright"?"

She slowly nodded her head as if to make him understand more clearly. She went back to her work when he didn't say anything more. "Sorry," he continued, "it's just...did I do something?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "You mean besides making me fall for you, then leaving me, then trying to do it all over again? No. Why?" He went to say something to that, but couldn't. She was right. She continued, "You know, Ben, I did some thinking last night. I care about myself too much to let you or anyone else hurt me like that again. I honest to God don't think I could take anymore of it. Just do me a favor and don't make this weird."

He was stunned into complete silence. He did thinking last night and a lot of it. He didn't get any sleep, that's why he was here so early. He decided he wanted her, all of her, but it couldn't be at the moment. It had to wait until graduation. But now she's saying "it's alright" and just giving up?

"Sorry," he said, interrupting her writing once more, "but I did only say it couldn't happen right now. There will only be one more semester after this one if you think you could wait. I know I will."

He gave her a soft smile, but it only made her angry. "What the hell?" She harshly asked. "Who in the fuck do you think you are?" Ben's eyes widened in surprise as he tried to stammer out an answer, but she quickly said, "No, no, no. Completely rhetorical question. However, this one isn't: do you get off on this shit?"

He hesitantly opened his mouth to answer, then finally said, "N-No. I'm not quite sure what you mean."

She rolled her eyes, then slammed her laptop shut. "Jesus, Benedict, you're clueless when it comes to other people's emotions, aren't you? You play people, Ben. You play women and while it might be fun for you, it's miserable for us! I'm miserable! I hate how you think you can just get away with shit like that!"

Ben furrowed his eyebrows as he thought some things over. Did he do that? Did he play women? If he did, he didn't mean to. He certainly didn't mean to do it to her. "Cassie, I'm sorry," he sincerely told her. "If you feel that's how I've been treating you, then perhaps I have. I don't mean to hurt you, really I don't. I want to do the opposite; that's why I left, that's why I said we had to wait until graduation. If we get caught, I will be fired, but worse you will be expelled. I only want to protect you, as you've done for me. You're my Guardian Angel, remember?"

She had to close her eyes and stop her lip from quivering. She was so close to crying and giving in and he knew it. "I won't pressure you," he told her. "I won't make you promise me that you'll wait. I do want you, Cassie."

As much as she tried not to say it, she had to. "Then have me!" She blurted out through tears. "You do have me, Ben, all you have to do is take it! We won't get caught and if we do, nobody will give a damn! Mister Clever as been caught fucking at least six girls in his office and he's still here and so are the students!"

Ben closed his eyes as he sighed, "Cassie..."

"No! Don't you "Cassie" me! God, you know what? I have two more weeks left with you. Two more weeks and I am free. I don't ever want to see you, I don't ever want to talk to you. I don't want to see you on campus or even in my goddamn café!"

She hadn't noticed she was standing up and hovering angrily over him. He was looking up at her, with frustration in his eyes, but it wasn't for her. "It sounds like you're telling me to go back to England."

After taking a deep breath, she said, "Maybe you should take it that way." With that, she went over to her desk and snagged up her things.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "We have to come up with questions for the final, remember?"

She slung her bag over her shoulder as she scoffed, "Fuck you." With that, she stormed out and left him terribly, annoyingly frustrated.