Fear & Love

Sixty Seven

Everyday had been the same for Gitanjali, just with different visitors. Sometimes it was family, sometimes it was friends. These days, she started to hate the smell of medicines and the hospital walls she stared at. She wanted to go out and roam around, she missed the freedom.

There was definitely a view from her hospital room window but her restricted movements couldn't take her to that side of the room without the help of a wheelchair and a person.

Once every two days, she asked Anand to sit near her and just hold her hand. This helped her sleep better. Whenever she had bad thoughts, she would just squeeze his hands and he would caress it to calm her down.

The good news was that Gita could hold the baby now. Her hands didn't shake anymore and the nurses had shown her the correct way to hold him. She still couldn't hold him on her own. Anand or the nurse had to pick the baby first and give him to her as she couldn't bend to pick him up directly.

She only saw Anand smile when he was around the baby. The other times, he was quiet and in his work. He looked after her and helped her, without speaking much.

There was a tradition for the first delivery to be at maternal home. The new mother was to stay with her parents during the third trimester and post pregnancy for few months. When her parents visited her, they told her to get well soon and come home with the baby. But Gita remembered her promise to Anand and refused her mother, "Maa, you don't have to worry about me. There is an entire staff to look at me. Plus, we have a nursery prepared for the baby, all his stuff is already there." Her real reason was to keep her words to Anand.

Her mother tried to explain her but Gita didn't budge. That's when her mother asked Anand his opinion and to convince Gita.

"Your mom is insisting so much, you should think about it." He answered. Gita looked shock at his answer and didn't move her eyes from him, trying to comprehend what he just said. This was the same person who had requested her to not go, leaving him alone.

She felt too exhausted to hold a conversation and ask the reason. The sleep consumed her. It was a daily cycle - eating and sleeping.

They both got used to having silly conversations with the baby. She never thought she would get to see Anand so soft, gentle and lovable.

"Papa ki jaan, how many days do you want to be here? Your home is much more beautiful. Hmm...? What are you saying? Accha, a few days more? Okay. Papa is not happy with your answer." He expressed his displeasure. It seemed like his son really replies back to him.

"Phone. Give your phone to her." Gita asked. Anand gave it to her. She requested the nurse to click a picture of Anand and the baby.  To her, this picture will always be a beautiful memory of Anand doing the unthinkable - having cute conversations with the baby.

**

Her face scrunched in pain when the nurse was trying to help her shift from the wheelchair to the bed. Gita's whole body shook from the pain, she shook her head telling the nurse to give her some time.

Seeing her in pain, Anand walked hurriedly towards and soothed her back lightly. A few moments later he encouraged her, "Gitanjali, let's try again. Okay?"

As per the nurse's instruction, he picked her up and placed her on the bed. As the nurse the left the room, Gita held onto him. She didn't let him move. She hugged him closer to her.

"Don't move. Please stay." She pleaded in a silent whimper. He didn't move as she clutched his shirt tightly with her fingers.

By this time, she had understood there was no point in telling him to talk to her or ask him what is wrong as he would just tell her to take rest.