The Two Of Us

Chapter 12

THE TWO OF US

CHAPTER 12

AMANDA

She's tired, exhausted, drained, worn out, whatever corresponding word you can add it to her endless list. All she knows is that her life is not for the faint of heart, it's not for the weak. Her eighteen years of life have been a living hell. Indeed, money does not buy everything.

She is one of the two princesses in this castle looking home of theirs. Her mother is the queen who rules the castle. She's the type of woman who think she 'knows her worth' that's is why she's been moving on since Mandela came out of prison. At least she is a successful business woman owing a big clothing store at The Pavillion Mall and a few properties around Durban because when it comes to relationships, she sucks like the word. Her and her twin sister are pretty tired of being introduced to her different boyfriends every single month. Yes, she has a twin sister but that looks more like their mother's twin than her, her name is Asanda. It's unfortunate that their case is nothing like the Qwabe twins, Ndawonde twins or any identical twins you've seen on social media bragging and showing off the cuteness of things that comes in pairs. They're non-identical twins. Completely different, not just by skin colour, heights, body weight etc. but even their DNA. Asanda is a pure black brown-skinned flawless princess and her? Well, she's coloured and her skin is not beautiful and flawless as that of her twin sister. That's according to her perspective.

It's always, "Your skin is so beautiful and clear", "You're such a beautiful dark-skinned girl" for Asanda. When they're together she gets a, "not you the dark one" and, "your sister is so hot" from the guys. Except for the "nice pic", "cute" and "you look fine" compliments she gets after posting her pictures on Facebook of which doesn't count because that's what these fake people behind their computer and smartphone screens do whenever  someone posts a picture, no matter how bad it is. The only compliment she remember getting in her whole life is, "you have beautiful curly hair" even though it's always followed a comparison like, "it's like Amanda Du-Pont's" and some say Amandla Stenberg's. Can't they compliment her hair without comparing her to beautiful celebrities that she looks nothing like them. She always wonders how weak her parents' genes are, to fail to produce something beautiful as other coloureds and African Americans all over the social networks. They're all beautiful and have nice bodies except for her. She looks like a coloured from the 1900s, directly from Jan Van Reibeeck and a Khoi-San combination. A huge sigh!

She envies her twin sister. Only if her mother wasn't a bitch enough to jump from one cock to another within a space of a week, she wouldn't be in this position today. Asanda doesn't seem to notice though, that she's getting all the attention, compliments and even the right guys. She just take all the spotlight. Asanda get to choose which good-looking guy she wants. She date this one, dump this one, reject that one, the guys she'll do anything to have. That's why she always find herself leaving the party with any guy that looks her way, just to feel wanted. To feel like she's a cool girl that every guy wants like Asanda. Couldn't she just be white and have blonde hair, blue eyes, sexy thigh gap and flat stomach like her half sisters? Or just black with a big ass like Asanda's? Not this flat ass with her body that's getting chubby day by day. She feels stuck in between. She wants to be beautiful too! She wants to look like her mother and her twin sister. She doesn't understand why she had to be left out. Why she had to look different? They're a perfect mother and daughter social media thing. Or however it is called. She knows very well that they love her unconditionally but the differences of which they don't care about just makes her feel like an outsider. Like an outcast.

Sometimes she even wish she was Liam. He get along pretty well with his half siblings, Ntokozo and Ayanda. Besides...he's handsome and all that unlike her. That guy is living a life she can only dream of. He has a dark skinned good-looking friend, Sizwe, he's not intimidated by a person like him like she does. Even the "light skinned guy is a red flag" type of a thing doesn't bother him at all. Unlike her, she even chose a frenzy red-haired Ashley as her best friend. Not because she likes the girl but her skin is paler than her dead self with flecks almost everywhere. Being her friend really makes her feel better, like she's superior and pretty.  Poor Ashley! You're just here to soothe and mend my non-existing self-confidence. A sarcastic laugh!

It's the first day of the school holidays and she's already not copying. At least at school she gets to mock that stupid Ukhona girl and let it all out. Her prettiness reminds her of Asanda's, these girl looks so beautiful in their skins. They sure are a work of art! Since she cannot bully her sister, so why not a stranger?

"Sis, how does this one look on me?" Asanda asks shifting the fitting room heavy black curtains to the side, making her way in, into this washroom size small space. She's in a mini brown backless silky dress. Well, she only sees that when she turn on her high rubber sneakers that compliments her nice long legs.

Amanda's jaws are on the white tiled floor as she looks at her twin sister, "You look just...you look beautiful sis! It's like it was made for your body!" she says in a high tone, almost squealing.

"Thank you. That dress suit your body too. It's not tight and look comfortable for you."

There she goes again! She's trying to tell her that she's fat with a body shaped like a rectangle to wear bodycon dresses. Besides, the "it suit your body blah blah blah" is not what she sees on the mirror. She's just  shapeless and nothing suits her in this goddamn mall but she has to say thanks.

When Asanda walks out, she release a breath of relief. She put the tenth dress she had tried on for the last three hours back on the hanger and change back to her baggy jeans and oversized t-shirt.

She might as well not attend that goddamn Easter dinner at her mother's friend, Esther. She's done!