The Two Of Us

Chapter 29

THE TWO OF US

CHAPTER 29

BHEKA

The drive back home isn't as nice as it all was but Thando barely notice since all she does is to stuff herself with junkies in the name of 'I don't eat all of this when I am at school' and sing out loud to random songs playing in the car. His heart melts at the sight of Thando actually having a good time and guilt hit him like a wave at the realization of the fact that Khanyo was right, he doesn't know his daughter at all. What has he been focusing on if he wasn't being a good father to his kids, more especially after losing their mother?

"Ntombazane take all of your stuff with you, I am not carrying any of these shopping bags," he says trying to be playful, hiding the guilt that is eating him deep inside like a parasite, leaving Thando seated in the car.

"I knew it wouldn't last," she mumbles to herself.

She goes straight to her bedroom and proceeds with the self-imprisonment. It's not like anyone has time for one another in this house anyway. The house is big and empty yet there are five people living inside. It doesn't feel like home at all. She sighs throwing herself on the bed and stare at the ceiling. This is it!
She doesn't want to think this way but maybe this Ukhona girl is luckier than she is. She grew up with her mother in the picture and suddenly she has a rich father and a cool brother. She doesn't want to be this jealous but it seems like she is. She's too young for all of these problems. She sniffles, the lump in her throat suffocating her like evil spirits in middle of the night.
She tap on the nightstand, searching for a bottle of water that she usually keeps there. It's almost empty so it falls, rolls on the the white surface of the nightstand and end up colliding with the tiled floor. That's exactly how she feels, except that she's completely empty but she surely is rolling towards the edge and might fall and hit the rock bottom in no time.
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Bheka sits in his study turning on his big chair, just taking in the room he's in. The golden walls, dark brown furniture and  golden glowing  lamps, making the room darker. It used to imitate his thought and his feelings. It made him feel powerful because this interior design was a reminder that he was not the only one with a dark aura. That darkness was just a word and he was a conqueror and in control of his emotions. It was a push for him not to be defeated by the darkness. So he fought darkness with darkness. It used to be his coping mechanism, he used to be the most focused in this office.
But lately...lately, he doesn't know but he's not focused. He cannot seem to. He's been losing control over everything.
But maybe... Maybe that's what happen when fire and ice collide. When the moon finally meets the sun, it glows different.

He thought he had it all under control. Did he not tell the HR manager to hire her? He did because he wanted to see her, he knew he did. Because he thought it was fate and he knows it is, that the universe was giving him a second chance to right his wrongs, to be with the woman he's ever loved. And gosh! When she walked into his office, his heart stopped. He asked himself how stupid he was to let her go? He wondered if she was seeing someone? If she'd changed? But when she finally spoke, he remembered every little reason she had his heart. It was like he'd finally found the missing piece in the puzzle of his life because he had.
But then...his heart broke when he finally got to look a little deeper into her eyes, she was shattered. He couldn't help but feel guilt because he knew for sure that he's one of the stones life has thrown at her. If it wasn't his fault, he would have been angry at her for keeping his daughter away but for some strange reason he felt like she did what she had to do. Why that? Is it regret and guilt? Or it was indeed a good decision? Maybe it is regret and guilt hence all the stupid things he's been doing like going out with Thando and what he's about to do now - trying to talk to Nathi.
He definitely has lost control over his life.

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He knock on the door of his son's bedroom for the first time this year. That's not true maybe it's been two years if not close.

"I said I don't want anyone in my bedroom so go away!" he hear him say through the slightly opened door.

"It's me," he says shamefully.

"Ndodana," he says. (son)
That sounds serious. "Mntungwa," he says in response. No matter how bad things are he's still his father and when he decides to act like a father, he does reward him with the respect he deserves.

"Can I sit?" he asks nervously pointing at the bed since he's sitting on the chair of his desk. The boy is watching every move he makes. Maybe he's not used to seeing him here, it is strange to him also. He sit down and look around the room, there's nothing on the wall, absolutely nothing. He was hoping to see...see what? His favorite DJ? Fashion icon? Or a picture of Rowland? Is it Rowland or Ronald? Whoever the football player is. It then downs to him that he doesn't stay here. He can't help but feel guilty. What's up with and being so guilty and weak lately?
A packed duffel bag on the bed catches his eyes. "Leaving already?"
He thought he had finally came around.

"Yeah," is all Nathi says.

"I was hoping if we could talk....?"

"Oh! About?" Nathi asks with a raised brow. He rather seem pissed than interested.

"Your mother says that you're not who I think you are, she thinks that you're a good kid..." he chuckles lightly. "That I will not know that unless I give you a chance...? Maybe it's time we fix whatever happened between the two of us."

"Are you here because you want us to talk or because your baby mama told you to?" a raised brow again.

See? This is pointless, this kid is rude and disrespectful. He's trying his best here, can't he meet him half way? He takes his time looking at his son. What did he miss? Before he can find the right words to say, Nathi says,"Besides, the damage is way too much. I don't think it can be fixed."

He's seen him flinching from the hurtful words he had said to him and today it's his turn.

"If you may excuse me, I have to get back to my flat where I can be myself. Where I don't have to act like a son of a famous CEO or some sort of a heir to be accepted," Nathi says.
Bheka watches him grabbing his cell phone from the desk that is near the window, car keys from the nightstand, the duffel bag from the bed and head to the door to leave. He stares at his back until the door shut behind his back. It's clear as the day, Karma has finally found his address.

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He's pissed as walk down the staircase. His father has the nerve to walk into his bedroom, sit on his damn bed only to tell him that 'your mother told me to talk to you'. Like really? Is that all he has to say for himself after everything? It's funny how he's still hurt by his father's actions and words even though he knows that he always disappoint. Like a fool, he still hope that he's going to change and care about them. And whenever disappointment slams him on the face, he tells himself not to care, that it doesn't matter, that he's a big guy and he doesn't need Bheka but he does. He hates this back and forth movement within himself. The intercom goes off. He's not expecting anyone so he doesn't care who the hell it is. Conscience makes him stop as he pull the door open, sigh and go to attend it. It's Sihle, she's probably here to see Ukhona. He let her in and go back upstairs to tell Ukhona that her friend is here.

"Oh? I didn't know that she was coming..." she trails off before putting the books away and get up.

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"Friend!" Ukhona says jumping on Sihle, crushing her into a tight. "I've been sick worried about you for the whole weekend. Have you talked to Liam, the poor guy was going insane. If it wasn't for Nathi and his IT friend we wouldn't know where you were. Don't ever do something like this again, you're going to give a heart attack I swe—" she rambles.

"Khona, breath. Please," Nathi cuts in.

"I am sorry I was just... Can we talk about it later? Please. Is your father home?" Sihle asks. Ukhona and Nathi simultaneously look at one another then back at her.

Wanders shall never end. She disappeared the whole long weekend and now she wants to see the whole Bhekamantungwa Khumalo. She's never felt left out about her friend's life.