𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲

32

...
JANE

"dominic i'm heading out!" i shout grabbing my jacket and keys as he walks down the stairs yawning from his nap. scratching below his ear he looks at me with a weird look.

"where are you going?" he asks leaning onto the kitchen bar table as i tuck my hands into my pockets not wanting him to see them nervously shake. "going to go help my landlord with something downstairs. i'll be back in probably— 40 mins max?"

he nods pushing himself off the table before coming near me and kissing my temple making my eyes shut momentarily and my hands shake even more.

"be safe out there" nodding i pull back with a slight smile soon opening the door and walking out feeling his eyes burn onto my back as if holes would appear anytime soon.

he's over here acting like nothing happened. as if he didn't call everything off with his WIFE for me.

well— ex wife now but STILL.

walking down the stairs i come across vincent shutting his office before turning around locking eyes with me. his shoulders hunch down before shaking his head at me disappointingly.

he knows.

"vincent." "we'll talk later about him jane. just go" he motions towards the doors before walking past me feeling my guts twist. he just wanted to protect me and look what i did. what we both did.

shaking away the feeling i head out and begin walking towards the bus station.

—

feeling my teeth scrape against each other as i look around the huge living room waiting for amber, i soon see her come back with a cup of tea and placing it in my hands as i give her a small smile.

when i had arrived earlier than expected, the door was already unlocked as amber texted me minutes before that i may just come in and wait for her there instead of being outside in the chilly evening.

as i take a quick glance at her i couldn't exactly understand how she was feeling. she looked absolutely stunning right now. flawless to be exact with her calm actions as well as if nothing had happened.

"where's chloe?" i ask seeing that she wasn't around nor her small voice could be heard as amber takes a small sip of her tea before placing it on her lap.

"she went to my mom's house for a few nights. took her there this morning." she says bluntly now staring at me. nodding i tuck my feet more away from her as she sighs and places the cup over her coffee table. "i know why you're here jane."

her voice wasn't as cheerful nor soothing as before but now rather harsh. i could tell she was trying very hard to not stand up and beat my ass right there; right now.

i don't blame her though. i really don't.

looking down towards my lap momentarily i feel tears begin to sting in my eyes. "i didn't know he was going to do that—" i mutter soon getting cut off with amber speaking over me.

"did you guys have sex?" gasping a bit now staring at her eyes i shut my mouth and begin to feel my leg start to bounce up and down anxiously. "so— yes." she spoke making me nod slowly as she nods back and leans down even more onto her sofa.

"i'm not mad at you jane." with wide eyes now i turn towards her seeing her look at her fingers. following her gaze i see she didn't have her usual silver wedding ring on. instead she had nothing on.

her finger was plain. dull and not shiny anymore.

"y-you're not?" shaking her head, she licks her lips now throwing her blonde hair away from her shoulders and turning completely towards me while letting her left leg lift up towards the sofa.

soon enough letting her arm wrap around her leg.

"why not!?" i burst making her eyes go wide and her brows raise up while i stand up suddenly— hands lifting up in the air. "slap me. cuss me out. call me a whore. SOMETHING!? h-how?" at the last word my voice becomes a whisper as amber looks back to where i was sitting and ignoring my standing figure now.

"i'm not going to blame you because dominic told me everything."

everything? what...

"he told me how you both were each other's first loves." she mutters. my mouth suddenly feels dry as i felt my knees become weak.

"he told me about how he went to you first. how you hated him. the trip to spain. everything." i kept listening to amber trying to not interrupt her as she finally looks up at me.

"i know i should be mad at you but it isn't your fault entirely. it's mainly his. he was the one i had a committed to in our wedding. not you."

"...he was the one i had a committed to in our wedding. not you." wow.

my heart aches for amber as tears water up in my eyes still feeling like crap. "oh honey" she mutters standing up cupping my face soon letting the pad of her thumb drag amongst my cheek to wipe the sudden tears that had fell.

"i'm so sorry. i tried so hard to not give in and i—i just did. i'm a horrible person" i cry towards amber as she pouts her bottom lip out soon squeezing my shoulders carefully.

"listen to me jane." she spoke making me look into her eyes still trying to get my vision back to normal due to the tears still blurring my sight.

angling her head more to the left to look at me even more she sighs.

"i see who you are. what you are. and i think you should stop making yourself smaller to make the world around you feel 'comfortable'." she mutters making me slump my shoulders down and feel as if the air in me had been knocked out.

"but i'm a monster for what i did to you. you don't deserve this ending amber!" amber licks her bottom lip before giving me a smile.

"trust me when i say, i don't think you're a monster.  not really.  i just think that's what you tell yourself to belittle yourself." with that she taps my shoulder turning around and leaving me there alone standing.