Fault lines

Chapter 3: Solitary

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If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.

Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

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Chapter Three: Solitary

Fourteen days of searching. Fourteen days of finding nothing and no one. Twelve days of things being tense and uneasy with James, and four days since he stopped talking to her altogether.

Juliet supposed she knew why. Kind of. She at least knew when his behavior shifted, and the event that made him a tightly coiled spring, ready to burst at any moment. But on second thought, maybe she didn't quite know why.

She'd thought about that moment in the banyan tree quite a bit the last few days. Mostly while she was alone, like when she was in the shower or trying to fall asleep at night. She wasn't fantasizing about it; she was analyzing it. The way he'd placed his hands so tightly on her, pulling her close to him. The feel of his stiff body behind hers. It could have been fear of being killed, sure. Or it could have been fear of something else. She wanted to talk to him about it, but he rarely met her eyes these days.

She found it strange, once it finally hit her… she missed him. She never thought in a million years that he'd be someone she missed, but the thought rang true in her heart all the same.

Yesterday, they all decided they'd had enough. They'd covered as much of the island as they could without straying too far away from the barracks. They were all sore, exhausted, and sunburnt to hell. They'd simply done all that they could do. As a whole, the group swore not to give up hope. They'd still search when they could, but they couldn't do it everyday anymore.

Today was their first day of real rest. The sub would be leaving tomorrow, Friday, and those that planned on staying behind would start their work assignments on Monday. Miles, looking for any excuse to sit around and drink, decided to host a going away party for Juliet and Daniel. Though, it wasn't so much a party as it was a dinner with booze and no other guests. He'd somehow managed to snag two whole pizzas and half of a cake from the cafeteria, and James had sweet-talked Horace into giving them beer.

There was a record player in the house, and Jin picked a Beatles album to play. Juliet was impressed with his tastes, and he said they loved the Beatles in Korea. He tended to sing the songs in Korean, which Juliet thought was fantastic. She took a mental snapshot of him and Miles dueting (though Miles sang in English) and she hoped she'd never forget it. It made her heart ache to watch them.

Even James seemed to be in decent spirits. He'd been drinking beers almost all day. It troubled her that she hadn't seen him drink any water, but he was a grown adult; he could do as he pleased. The final straw was when he joined in on the singing, especially when he pulled Daniel by the sleeve and swayed with him at arm's length. Daniel, who was clearly uncomfortable, still managed to put a smile on his face. All four sang and swayed with their arms around one another and Daniel at a distance, drunk and full of pizza and happy; and she just watched them from the table and smiled as she took yet another mental snapshot.

It was all too much. And it broke her heart.

Not only was it a beautiful display of camaraderie and friendship, and she was going to miss them all so dearly when she left, but it only served to remind her, once again, how much of an outsider she really was. James, who seemed to dislike Daniel more than anyone else in the group (other than her), still managed to include him in the festivities. She was glad for Dan, because she knew how alone he'd been feeling since they'd landed here. She knew how much he missed Charlotte and how hard it was to watch her as a child running around the compound. He needed to leave just as much as she did.