Gone.

Chapter 2

When I heard my alarm clock go off I rolled over and groaned. I hit the off button and looked at the time, even though I didn't need to consider I've gotten up at the same time for the last 5 years. 8 AM. I walked into the bathroom and started the water. While the shower was warming up I grabbed my robe and towel and sat it on the sink. I jumped into the shower and did my business. When I was done I stood there for about 5 minutes letting the hot water massage my back. I finally jumped out and dried off wrapping my hair into a towel on my head, then I wrapped my robe around me and started to do my makeup. I waited for Mitch to walk into the bathroom and do his usual routine with me bumping into me on purpose making me smear my makeup but the never happened, just like everything else we have done together will never happen again. I finished my makeup and started to blow dry my hair and then pull it up into a neat doughnut bun. When I was finished I walked into my bedroom and laid out my peach flowery top, my black shirt that hugged my hips tightly, and my black pantyhose for under neath. When I was dressed I pulled out my peach stilettos that match my top and slipped them on along with a black jacket. I grabbed my purse and walked into the kitchen. When I got into there I threw a bagel into the toaster and got out the cream cheese. I threw both items and a knife into my lunch tote with a Coke~a~Cola and walked out the door with my items, grabbing my car keys on the way out. When I got outside I turned around and locked my door then headed to the car. I jumped into my car and started the engine. I glanced at the time and it was only 9:15, wow for once I was going to be early for work. I backed out of the driveway quickly and started to drive the same route i have always driven.

When I arrived there I sat into my car for awhile waiting on it to be time for my shift to start. I used this time to think back at memories, all of which today included Mitch. This one is gonna be hard to overcome. I sat there thinking of the first time we met, It was in the fall. The fall carnival had just came around and we were young, just searching for the perfect love story at the carnival. Well it didn't turn out like you would've expected it to. I was new to town and stayed to myself and read in the corner. He was more outgoing. He had lived in this small town his entire life and was a star football player. Anyways we bumped into each other at the carnival and I apologized softly. I turned to walk away and him and his buddies laughed he said "Yea you better be!" I walk away swiftly as my cheeks flush red with embarrassment. I remember seeing him the next few weeks at school and trying to hide my face every time our eyes met. One day he pulled me off to the side and said "Hey, look I'm sorry for what happened at the carnival. What we or well I did was unacceptable and I don't know what got into me when I said that or did that to you."

"Yea I bet you are.... You know if you were really sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place!"

"No listen I'm honestly truly sorry. I just thought you should know that."

My alarm on my phone goes off telling me that its time for me to go inside to work. I snap out of my memories and wipe the tear from my face and check my makeup in the mirror real quick. I step out of my car and head inside. I badge into the door and walk to my desk nodding to everyone that acknowledges my company and set all of my stuff where it goes on my desk. I sigh and open my laptop lid. I wait for my screen to open up and I log in to my account. I open up my files and find my schedule for the day. I have a 10 A.M, a Noon, and a 1 P.M. for transportation. This is going to be a long day considering we have a meeting at 2:30 about stats and rates of money intake for the city. I pull up my tables and charts and wait for my first client.

The day longs on and when it's finally time to badge out I drag myself out of the building and slump into my car. I start my car and pull out of the driveway. I drive a different way home to keep the memories from popping up in my mind. I pull in the drive and walk into the house. I put my stuff where it goes and dump my uneaten lunch in the trash. I look at the time and it says 5:30 PM, this day will NEVER end. I sit on the couch and flip on the TV. I wait for the news to come on as I turn on my phone screen. I scroll through my messages, most of them saying for your loss, get well soon, miss him, miss you, blah, blah, blah, blah , blah , etc. I delete them all and go to face book, I clean my notifications and throw my phone down. The tears start to roll down my face just as the news come on. I pull a pillow to my chest and sob into the pillow. I just don't know how to hold myself together anymore.... I push the thoughts of him to the side as I reach for the remote. I flip off the T.V. and go to my bedroom. I walk into the room and sit on the edge of the bed, I breathe heavily, Inhale and Exhale and Inhale and Exhale. My lip quivers and lean back against my headboard. I pull my drawer on the nightstand open and pull out a piece of metal. I examine it in the light rolling it through my fingers, it's cold touch familiar on my skin. I watch as a drop of water falls onto the blade, my tear. I push the sharp end onto my wrist but don't pull it across, I close my eyes as my sobs get heavier. I push the blade in deeper until I feel the burn through my arm and the cool touch of blood dripping onto my hand. I slide it across my wrist again and again. I lay the blood covered blade down on my nightstand and watch the blood pool on the freshly born cuts that will live on my wrists. I sit up and push my head against my backboard. I sit there with tears running down my face remembering him. Mitch, oh Mitch, why did you have to be so careless and leave me by myself in this world to suffer.  

I can still hear him that day "No listen I'm honestly truly sorry. I just thought you should know that." I can remember blowing him off that day ticked beyond belief for how much of a jerk he was that day with his friends, but also madly in love with that boy and just not knowing it yet. I smile as I remember what I said to him that day.

            "Don't' give me that! If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place. I don't want to hear any of your lies. I don't want pity because I'm the new kid I don't want to be babied. I can take care of myself just fine! Now leave me alone!" I remember watching him for the next few weeks and catching his glances every time and looking away way too quickly. He scared me way too much and I honestly loved every bit of it. The first day he talked to me after that was completely by accident.

"Hey do you have a pencil?" he asks me in a scared voice.

"Yes, hold on let me get you one." I reached down into my bag and pulled out a pencil and said "Here, but it needs sharpened. I'm sorry."

"No that's fine; I really just needed a reason to talk to you since you seem to hate me."

"I don't hate you; I just hate how cocky you are."

"Well speaking of our relationship, how does a movie Friday sound?"

My cheeks blushed a bright pink and I started to smile like an idiot. "Um, yea I'll have to clear with my dad and mom first but that sounds awesome. They probably won't care either since they have been pushing me to make friends anyway." And of course my parents did say yes or I wouldn't be where I am now. That Friday was the first date I had ever been on and was also my first kiss. He is my always and I was his forever.