Gone.

Chapter 6

I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't process the image in front of my eyes. More roses? How? What? Why? I still don't know where the last ones came from, let alone why there is another dozen in front of my door at 2 in the morning? Nothing seemed to ever make sense anymore since Mitch was gone. But this, this was a different kind of doesn't make sense. I don't understand why I keep getting roses, why the quickly and almost instantly die, whose bringing them, and how in the world did they get them in my house? I grabbed my forehead with my hand and shook my head not knowing how to process the imagery in front of me.

I closed the door in front of me leaving the roses outside to perish in any way that they would wish. I didn't pick up the note that I saw written in the same handwriting nor did I care to see what it had said. I walked back into my living room and saw the dead ones still sitting on the table in front of me. Anger rushed through my body and I snatched up the vase and threw it against the wall. I watched as the glass broke when it made contact with the wall and the soil from the roses slid down and marked my wall before landing on the ground in a heaping mess in front of me. I stood there staring at the mess I had just created breathing heavily. I dropped down to my knees after unlocking my gaze. I held my head in my hands and let the tears fall out of my face. I tried repeatedly to catch my breath and regain my composure and couldn't seem to pull myself out of my fit. I sat there hunched over crying until the sun rose in the morning.

I watched as the sun peeked through my curtains and flooded the room with unwanted light. My face was red as my body sobbed with no more tears to pour. My cheeks were chapped from the moisture that was drained from them. I hunched myself up against the wall and looked around the room as it began to spin. I held both sides of my head with my palms keeping my head steady. I couldn't quite focus on the room so I squeezed my eyes closed.

My doorbell pierced through the house. I unwillingly pulled myself off of the floor and into an upright position. I stumbled through the house as the doorbell rang once more. " I'm coming, I'm coming jeesh." As I reached the door I pulled it open with great force, "WHA.......What?" I finished softly. I looked down at ground in front of me and saw the roses from last night still laying there but sitting next to it was a letter that wasn't there before. I picked up the letter and the roses. I sat the roses on the table in the entrance and carried the letter with me to my living room. I fell down into my couch and pulled my knees up to my chest holding the letter in front of me. Written on the white envelope that laid in my hand was "My Love." I gazed at the handwriting as it looked familiar to me. I pulled open the envelope and took a deep breath. I pulled out the yellow tinted paper and unfolded it. I closed my eyes to collect myself before beginning to read the letter that was in front of me.

"Dear Anna,

My Love. I truly hope that this letter makes its way to you in good time. I hope that the healing process isn't too hard on you because I am truly nothing to worry about. I will leave this earth in happiness knowing I had you by my side to keep me company through it all. I have known that this day was going to come for many years now. I was never expected to live past 19 let alone exceed 30. I blame that all on you honestly. With the love of my life there I had a reason to strive and my sick brain found a happiness and numb feeling for the first time in its pitiful life. I still remember the day I first laid eyes on you. You were the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen in my life and it sent butterflies through my entire body. When I finally got you to go on a date with me I sat in my room for hours just making sure that everything was going to be perfect for you that night. Same for the night when I asked you to marry me. I was so nervous and you could tell because you kept asking me what was wrong. I was so terrified that you would turn me down but I was lucky enough to have you say yes and it just made my life complete. I'm truly sorry that I never told you about my illness. I didn't want you to leave because I was weird or ill, or you couldn't make a life with me like you could other men. I was so scared to die alone or better yet to live without you in my life that I was selfish enough to keep this all from you, hurting you in the end. I truly hope that you find someone to continue the rest of your life with and he treats you better than I could ever imagine doing for you. I love you my dear Anna and I hope your life is plentiful and full of joy and happiness.